Stephen Colbert Rips Trump With Kendrick Lamar-Inspired ‘Pope Diss Track’: ‘They Not Pious’

Stephen Colbert kickstarted Thursday’s episode of The Late Show with a diss track penned and performed by a mock Pope Leo XIV who dragged President Donald Trump for being a “bestie” with “certified pedophile” Jeffrey Epstein and calling him “senile.”

Trump lashed out at the pope on Sunday in a Truth Social screed calling him “WEAK” in a reaction to the pontiff’s calls for peace with Iran, setting off a back-and-forth that has lasted days.

Pope Leo told reporters Monday he did not “fear” the Trump administration and repeated his broad criticism of religious rhetoric being used to advocate for or support war.

In response, Vice President JD Vance and others within the MAGA movement have scolded the pontiff, lecturing him on theology and questioning whether it was appropriate for him to engage in political conversations.

But before Colbert weighed in with a monologue, his cold open began with a fake news report about the president’s “beef” with the pontiff, then the backing track from rapper Kendrick Lamar’s viral “Not Like Us” diss track against Drake kicked in.

The lyrics, a supposed reply from a pretend Pope Leo, targeted the president and threw several jabs before swapping out Lamar’s famous line “they not like us” with “they not pious,” flashing images of members of the Trump administration who have sided with the president’s attacks.

Hey, Peppers on my beef, yo,
Leo, here to defend my papacy bro.
You got JD, I got JC though.
You keep Rubio, I ride around with the holy trio.
I’m up in the Vatican, you’re still in denial.
I’m the Holy See, you’re the holy senile.
How many mentions of you in the Epstein files?
Certified bestie with that certified pedophile.

Pope! Pope! Pope! Pope! Pope!
Let me do my prayer.
Pope! Pope! Pope! Pope! Pope!
Big hat on my hair.

Seems like it’s past time you retired.
Call Jesus a doctor and it’s probably Alzheimer’s…

They not pious! They not pious!

Referencing the pope’s further warning on Thursday against “those who manipulate religion and the very name of God for their own military, economic and political gain,” Colbert delighted in the moment, arguing that the pontiff “came back swinging.”

“Yet another day when the entire world is on edge over Donald Trump’s senseless and elective war — with the pope,” he quipped.

Watch above via CBS.

New: The Mediaite One-Sheet "Newsletter of Newsletters"
Your daily summary and analysis of what the many, many media newsletters are saying and reporting. Subscribe now!