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Donald Trump Wants to Make Sure We Don’t Forget All the ‘Great Deals’ Our Cops Make

The surreal spectacle that is presumptive Republican nominee Donald Trump‘s presidential campaign continued Tuesday night with the real estate mogul’s speech to a crowd in Westfield, Indiana’s Grand Park Events Center. After an introduction by Veepstakes finalist and Indiana Governor Mike Pence, Trump launched into a speech that contained a Bizarro World version of President Obama‘s moving address at the memorial for the police officers slain in the Dallas sniper attack. It was as if Trump took the elements of Obama’s carefully-balanced speech, ran them through Google Translate for Third-Graders, then printed it all on refrigerator poetry magnets and threw them in a tumble dryer.

After starting off reading from a prepared statement, Trump went off-script to talk about the killings of Alton Sterling and Philando Castile, whose names he did not try to say, calling those incidents “tough to watch,” and promising that “we have to figure it out,” which in an Obama speech is right about where the President would discuss policy initiatives. Trump? Not so much:

We have to figure out what’s going on. Was it training? Was it… something else? It could’ve been something else. We have to take care of everybody, remember that.

Like President Obama did in Dallas, Trump pivoted back to praising the police, but in that uniquely Trumpian way:

But we can never, ever forget the hundreds of thousands of great deals and great things that our police all over the country do.

What’s fascinating is that in a three-minute stretch of his speech about the slain police officers in Dallas, Trump has managed to bring up the killings of Alton Sterling and Philando Castile more times than Obama did in his entire speech, and seemingly without the presumption that “the video doesn’t show everything” that conservatives often rely on to deny police brutality. Someone seems to have told Trump that people liked Obama’s balanced approach, and he’s trying his best to imitate it through his own filter.

Unlike President Obama, though, Trump took a minute to wander off into a digression about “Crooked Hillary” before returning to the subject of law enforcement, which he boldly promises “must remain with us,” and whom he promises to remember do “a fabulous job,” and also “a great job,” aside from the occasional killing, which we’re going to figure out somehow:

Every once in a while, problems will happen, and we’re going to take care of those problems. And they can be bad problems. But we are going to treat our police with respect, remember that.

Like any Trump speech, you don’t come away with any idea what President Trump would do about any of it, but unlike the usual Trump speech, he lacks the vocabulary necessary to express satisfying outrage at police killings, which leaves him nothing to fill the holes. Lucky for him there’s still a Mexico wall to holler about.

This is an opinion piece. The views expressed in this article are those of just the author.

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