An Ohio gubernatorial candidate, and sitting supreme court justice, has just penned what may be the hottest take of all in response to the sexual assault allegations plaguing Sen. Al Franken.
Bill O’Neill, a Democrat, took to Facebook in the wake of the allegations against Franken and decided to make a point about just how far this “national feeding frenzy about sexual indiscretions” has gone. His preferred method? Writing about all of the beautiful women he has made sweet, passionate love to throughout the years (really.)
You have to read this thing in its entirety, in which he describes his dalliance with Bob Taft’s personal secretary in the hayloft of a barn, among other sexual encounters. It is truly a work of absurdist art.
Now that the dogs of war are calling for the head of Senator Al Franken I believe it is time to speak up on behalf of all heterosexual males. As a candidate for Governor let me save my opponents some research time. In the last fifty years I was sexually intimate with approximately 50 very attractive females. It ranged from a gorgeous personal secretary to Senator Bob Taft (Senior) who was my first true love and we made passionate love in the hayloft of her parents barn in Gallipolis and ended with a drop dead gorgeous red head who was a senior advisor to Peter Lewis at Progressive Insurance in Cleveland.
Now can we get back to discussing legalizing marijuana and opening the state hospital network to combat the opioid crisis. I am sooooo disappointed by this national feeding frenzy about sexual indiscretions decades ago.
All told, 70-year-old O’Neill claims to have convinced around 50 women to have sex with him throughout his lifetime.
Back in August, he referred to NFL protesters as “draft dodging millionaire athletes,” despite the fact that the last military draft ended 45 years ago, with the oldest NFL player clocking in at 40 years old.
Ohio voters. You know what to do. Elect this casanova to be your governor (or not.)
[image via screenshot]
Have a tip we should know? email@example.com