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Today in Stupid Cable Segments: Fox News Celebrates the Bikini’s Birthday

Today in stupid cable news segments, we celebrate a block of programming in the 8 a.m. ET hour of Fox & Friends, the morning show that mandates its hosts use the words “Hillary Clinton emails” every :90 seconds and is basically cohosted by Donald Trump‘s faceless voice over near-daily phone call interviews.

At the same time that CNN’s on-screen chyron read “TRUMP & CLINTON TO ANNOUNCE VP PICKS SOON” and MSNBC touted “THE U.S. AT WAR: VIETNAM’S DARK LEGACY,” Fox & Friends went for the jugular during this crucial stage of the 2016 election: “HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BIKINI!

The segment featured usual show cohost Ainsley Earhardt alongside Peter Johnson Jr. and former Miss New York Kandice Pelletier. “Today marks the 70th anniversary of the two-piece,” said Johnson Jr. to the millions of at-home viewers (despite — or perhaps because of? — its choice content, Fox & Friends to its credit obliterates all other morning shows in ratings).

“So what better way to celebrate the swimsuit than with a bikini fashion show!” offered Earhardt. I guess Hillary Clinton‘s 3.5 hour “grilling” from the FBI can wait when there are more important things to attend to, like how to avoid tan lines even though you may be wearing a “showkini.”

I will say… thank god normal sophomoric cohosts Steve Doocy and Brian Kilmeade weren’t there for the segment; Peter Johnson Jr. handled the situation with dignity, whereas I can only imagine what tasteful descriptions the normal bros in charge would use as the bikini-clad women graced their studio.

Congrats to today’s big winner of the Stupid Cable Segment, which you can watch above via Fox News.


J.D. Durkin (@jiveDurkey) is an editorial producer and columnist at Mediaite.
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This is an opinion piece. The views expressed in this article are those of just the author.

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