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Top Lines From Mitt Romney’s Lunch With President Obama Tomorrow

Despite my advice to the contrary, President Obama has decided to make good on his invitation to host bitterly defeated 2012 Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney for lunch at the White House, where the President will entertain the economic ideas that lost Romney the presidency. The lunch, alas, will be closed to the press, but that doesn’t mean we can’t make some educated guesses about how things will go between the Leader of the Free World and the leader of the free time. Here are what will probably be the best lines not overheard at tomorrow’s lunch.

“Of course, I remember you…from the thing… at that place…”

“You didn’t forget to bring photo I.D., did you?”

“No, Governor Romney, this is the ‘main house.'”

“It’s a bag of extraordinary gifts. I got you a four-year calender and the last loaf of Wonder Bread.”

“No, that’s not whole milk, it’s 2 percent. Which still wouldn’t have helped you, huh?”

“Wow, Nate Silver told me you were going to have the salmon. That guy’s good!”

“No, Governor Romney, you haven’t been ‘poisoned,’ that’s just pepper.”

“Well, although it’s shaped like an egg, I still don’t think the Oval Office is a person.”

“I asked the chef to let the trout go bankrupt, whatever that means.”

“No, Governor, we won’t be serving German Shepherd’s pie.”

 

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