Colbert Talks GOP Platform, Says Trump Will Ignore for ‘Whatever Tumbles Out the Old Talkie Hole’


After the GOP released drafts of its platform for the upcoming 2016 election, Stephen Colbert skewered its most radical aspects on Wednesday night’s Late Show. However, Colbert didn’t exactly believe that the presumptive GOP nominee, Donald Trump, was going to follow the new platform word for word.

“This is the set of core conservative values that Trump will ignore in favor of whatever tumbles out of the old talkie hole,” Colbert quipped. While the crowd booed some aspects of the Republican platform, Colbert cracked jokes at its expense.

“There’s some very interesting things in the draft. The Republican Party has officially declared that coal is an abundant clean energy resource. Of course! That’s why you see all those photos of fresh-faced coal miners out there. It’s really too bad so many of them come down with clean lung,” Colbert said to kick off his interpretation of the platform.

Colbert finished his monologue with one of the major surprises of the GOP platform: pornography.

“Porn is a public health crisis? But those videos are loaded with nurses. They’re very stern. ‘You will take your medicine,’” Colbert mused, before indicating that Republicans should be supportive of porn.

“It’s pro-free trade, people are always paying for pizza by bartering their sausage and you do not want to know what the invisible hand of the market is doing. Oh! And most of all, the GOP and porn both have the same core message: Jobs, jobs, jobs. Jobs for everyone!”

Watch the above video via The Late Show with Stephen Colbert.

[image via screengrab]

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