Jon Stewart Rounds Up ‘Crazy’ CPAC: ‘Take It Out and Jerk It for America!’

Jon Stewart rounded up the best of “crazy” CPAC Monday night, which he described as “Burning Man for people who don’t do drugs and are afraid of fire.” He summed up the big, patriotic speeches with some genital-centered jokes, declaring, “Take it out and jerk it for America!”

Stewart mocked Ted Cruz doing a Jay Leno joke, advising the senator, “Listen, Cruz, don’t quit your day job… Let me rephrase that. Quit your day job.” He took on Paul Ryan‘s anecdote about “free lunches” with the takeaway: “If you give a man a fish, don’t. Period. End of Bible.”

But Stewart saved the best barbs for NRA official Wayne LaPierre, declaring that people need as many guns as possible to defend themselves from all the evil around them. Stewart bewilderedly asked, “Where the fuck do you live? Vice City?”

Watch the video below, via Comedy Central:

Part 1:

Part 2:

[photo via screengrab]

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Follow Josh Feldman on Twitter: @feldmaniac

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