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Michael Moore Explains His ‘Forbidden Love’ of Hillary Clinton. Yes, That Kind.

If you’ve been waiting for the endorsement that could break this whole Democratic presidential primary race wide open, then you’ll just have to wait a little bit longer. On Tuesday night’s All In with Chris Hayes,  filmmaker and activist Michael Moore teased host Chris Hayes with the prospect of an endorsement, only to lay off the decision until perhaps later this week. He did, however, share some of his deliberative process, and gave Hillary Clinton and her supporters the chance to throw up a little by describing his “forbidden love” for the former Secretary of State:

Moore: Well, I haven’t said publicly yet because I haven’t been on TV til right now. Let me say this. I flew to Burlington, Vermont in 1990 the year after I made “Roger and Me,” Bernie asked me to come up there and I endorsed him and did a rally for him in Burlington when he first ran for congress. So was, I’m probably the first endorser of Bernie and have endorsed him all these years. Having said that, while I have obviously many disagreements with Hillary about her vote on the war and her relationship with Wall Street, whatever, I also in my first book in ’96, I wrote a chapter called “My forbidden love for Hillary.

Hayes: I remember that chapter, actually.

Moore: I’ve always really liked her, and not just in a — in a forbidden way.

Hayes: Fully.

Moore: Yes.

It’s true, folks, Moore did write said chapter in his book Downsize This, in which he said, among other things, that “Hilary Rodham is one hot shitkickin’ feminist babe.”

On the one hand, it’s nice to hear Moore give voice to something that I’m sure a lot of us felt. Right from the start, I always found Hillary’s combination of attributes extremely attractive, not in an “I’d like to hit that” way, but more of a “She’d make a much better president than her husband, and she’s way out of everyone’s league” kind of way. It’s a part of her appeal that has always been underutilized, in my view.

But on the other hand, that shit was cute in 1996, when we were in our twenties. Wait, what? Michael Moore is 61? Okay, it was gross then, too.

Moore went on to explain the deliberative process by which he will deliver said endorsement in the coming days, the entire point of which seems to have been to squeeze in a not-so-humblebrag at the end:

Moore: Obviously, my politics line up very closely with Bernie’s. But we have a historic moment where we could elect the first woman president of the United States. And you know, I got invited to the White House by the Clintons back in the day. And they were really nice to me. And I got to eat whatever I wanted to eat. It was all very friendly.

Hayes: You know lefties are tearing their hair out right now.

Moore: We were going through the reception line. And Bill goes ‘I’m your number one fan.’ She grabbed his hand and goes ‘No, I’m your number one fan.’ They’re great.

I don’t know who Michael Moore thinks he’s kidding here, of course he’s going to endorse Bernie Sanders. The only people who give a good f*ck what Michael Moore thinks are already voting for Bernie, and if he endorsed Hillary instead, none of them would switch their vote, they would just cease giving a good f*ck what Michael Moore thinks and grief him with the heat of a thousand suns. But at least now we know that Hillary Clinton is Michael Moore’s number one fan, and that Michael Moore’s impression of Hillary sounds like Peter Lorre in mid-fap.

Moore is right about one thing: the most important thing is that the Democratic nominee be the next president, but he and Bernie are in for a shock when those general election polls turn on a dime because Sanders actually has someone campaigning against him. If he thinks Hillary has been rough, he hasn’t been paying attention.

This is an opinion piece. The views expressed in this article are those of just the author.

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