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Slow News Day: Genetics Company Investigates Why Ozzy Osbourne Is Alive

Ozzy Osbourne is famous for three things: eating a live bat, starring in a breakthrough incoherent reality TV show at the beginning of the century, and doing lots of drugs, all the time. None of these things, it appears, have killed him yet. Why? A genetics company would like to know.

Yes, it’s almost the Fourth of July, and if you haven’t noticed around here– or any other site of your choosing– it’s hard out here for a blogger on a 3-day weekend. Dead blog space is bad; dead airtime is even worse. So today on Fox News, Dr. Cynara Coomer tried to explain what it is in Osbourne’s genome that would attract scientists to explore it, as, empirically, there is little reason for him to be alive at all.

Coomer explained that “no treatments are going to come out of this” study, but the purpose is “to identify people that are high-risk for certain diseases and to target therapies to them.” In Osbourne specifically, “one of the things they’re most interested in with him is does he carry the enzyme in the liver which helps him to metabolize drugs better than other people.”

Coomer explains the investigation below:

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