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Good Luck With That: Pastor Wants ‘1 Million Men’ To Sign A Pledge To Swear Off Porn Forever

In today’s edition of This Is Never Gonna Happen, a Florida pastor wants men to stop looking at pornography. Now, presumably, he’s also including women in this, but the movement is called 1 Million Men, and Pastor Jay Dennis wants you to go on his website and make a strong commitment to never, ever, ever watch pornography ever again. In a completely unrelated story, Justin Timberlake has a new music video on YouTube full of naked women.

Dennis’ mission statement opens by comparing pornography to the Bubonic Plague. He claims this is “the number one issue facing Christian men” in the world today, and asks any wayward souls out there to consider taking his pledge to live a clean, smut-free life.

He has some important recommendations for how to keep your children from being exposed to porn, including canceling all your premium cable channels and even destroying your computer in order to fight just the basest urge to get your rocks off. And it’s not just watching porn that’s a problem, it’s also even thinking about porn. Just the briefest imaginings of a naked breast in the midnight hour are enough to send you in a downward spiral towards hellfire, and the only way to stop this is to “replace a sinful thought with a God thought based on Biblical truth.”

We’ve put together some of the best moments of Dennis’ videos below, for your viewing enjoyment:

h/t Daily Beast

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Follow Josh Feldman on Twitter: @feldmaniac

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