Senator Ben Nelson Admits He’s Never Used An ATM, But ‘Knows About Holograms”

by Jon Bershad | 11:02 am, May 20th, 2010

» 8 comments

Sometimes you read about a piece of legislation going through Congress and you just want to cheer. That’s the way I felt when I read about Sen. Tom Harkin of Iowa’s proposal to limit the fees when a person uses an ATM from a bank other than their own, something he calls “legal thievery.” Hell yeah, Sen. Tom Harkin of Iowa! Unfortunately, when I continued reading this article in the Omaha World-Herald, I learned that it’s unlikely that the amendment would ever see a vote for a number of reasons, one of which is the fact that some senators have never used and don’t understand ATMs. Well, that’s great.

The article contains some great quotes from Sen. Ben Nelson of Nebraska, who didn’t see the point in the amendment:

“The Nebraska Democrat pleaded ignorance when asked this week whether Congress should cap ATM fees. Nelson said that while he’s no fan of unnecessary fees, he’s unfamiliar with the charges.
‘I’ve never used an ATM, so I don’t know what the fees are,’ Nelson said, adding that he gets his cash from bank tellers, just not automatic ones. ‘It’s true, I don’t know how to use one.
‘But I could learn how to do it just like I’ve . . . I swipe to get my own gas, buy groceries. I know about the holograms.’”

Well, ok, he doesn’t use ATMs. That’s fine. I mean, he is 69 years old. I guess we’ll just…whoa whoa whoa wait. “Holograms”? What?

Apparently someone had the same reaction as I did because the article explains how Nelson was forced to explain what on earth he was talking about:

“By ‘holograms,’ Nelson clarified that he meant the bar codes on products read by automatic scanners in the checkout lanes at stores such as Lowe’s and Menard’s.
‘I go and get my own seating assignment on an airplane,’ Nelson said. ‘I mean, I’m not without some skills. I just haven’t had the need to use an ATM.’”

Alright, either Nelson just made the strangest choices of words ever or perhaps he accidentally let slip the ultra secret plans to replace most of the government with high tech Star Wars-style holograms. Just to be on the safe side, I suggest all of our readers repeatedly poke your congressmen next time you see one to make sure they’re actually there.

Either way, that’s your government in action, folks. They don’t get ATMs but they’re totally down with holograms. We can only imagine that any other technology based legislation in the future (like internet privacy) will be absolutely air tight.

ATM Fees, ATMs, ben nelson, Congress, senate, Tom Harkin

http://www.sailrabbits.com Magister

While I could justify Sen. Nelson and the others having little to no experience with ATMs, the “hologram” part of the quote is the gold. Of course, I’m sure it’s because he remembers George Herbert Walker Bush getting so much flak from being in awe of the scanners at a grocery store checkout and how much it cost his bid for re-election, but unfortunately his wording still ends the same.

Too funny, for sure.
http://www.facebook.com/people/Joe-Callan/100000200979966 Joe Callan

Harmless misspeak, funny story. I couldn’t resist a poorly-executed Photoshop response.

http://editorialjoe.tumblr.com/post/616485166/sciencenelson
Jon Bershad

Joe Callan, you are my hero for the rest of the day. Hilarious.
germ

Joe Callan… that is awesome!
jrheels97

This legislation is a joke, and it would crush an entire industry. And that would not be the financial industry. Over 50% of the ATMs in this country are owned by independent operators. These operators employfield technicians, administrative assistants, armored car carriers, and bookkeepers. They pay property taxes. They hire ad agencies to develop marketing materials so they can solicit retailers. They pay web designers to build web sites.

All of that would disappear with this legislation. ATMs that we take for granted in c-stores and malls would disappear. This wouldn’t help anyone. It would just force you to travel to your own bank for a free transaction, which everyone has the right to do today without this legislation.

The money in an ATM is not “your money,” just like a coke in a coke machine is not “your coke” until you buy it. If you don’t think the fee is justified or fair, then don’t use the ATM. Plan ahead and go to a free one. This is not the government’s place.

ATMs are big investments, and they are expensive to operate.
http://www.sailrabbits.com Magister

@jrheels97: Not to be contrary, but anyone can purchase an ATM machine for about $2k and as this dealer* says in their FAQ, a low traffic location like a rural convenient store could probably stock it with $500-$1000. For such an amount, there’s no armored cars and if it’s just owned by the store or maybe a Mom & Pop “network” of a few machines, there no administrative assistants, ad agencies, marketing materials and because it’s wired to the owner’s bank account like a Verifone, I see no reason for an outside bookkeeper.

As for the law, often there’s no nearby free machine or no unattended machines in rural/small town America and because most people use the unbranded machines only in an emergency, once they start, they might mentally complain about an exorbitant fee, but they’re likely to take the transaction to completion. Especially, if non-bank machines are the only thing available for a hundred miles, you’re about out of gas and the store doesn’t accept credit cards.

*This is not an endorsement of this particular dealer.
They were simply the first to come up in a search.
felixw

Democrats in the Senate don’t need to use ATMS. They have the cash delivered to their door by lobbyists.
http://www.shoes2.us shoestrade13

a warn welcome: http://www.shoes2.us/