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Bill Maher And Jane Lynch Give A Dramatic Reading Of Anthony Weiner’s Sexts

» 86 comments

You’ve probably seen the contents of some of Rep. Anthony Weiner’s more obscene sexts, but you haven’t heard them like this. Bill Maher took advantage of his pay cable slot tonight on Real Time by dramatically reading some of Weiner’s messages verbatim…with the help of Glee star Jane Lynch.

This was a can’t-miss idea – as soon as Maher said he and Lynch would be reading the sexts verbatim, the crowd started applauding. And the already-won-over crowd just kept getting more and more taken with each line…and it’s easy to see why. The ridiculousness of what Weiner was saying is really amplified when you hear someone actually say this stuff out loud. Speaking from a personal standpoint, reading it in the first place was funny enough, but around the time Maher said “It needs your pussy juice,” I laughed to the point where the people around me openly wondered if I was okay. There’s a good chance something similar will happen to you – watch the clip below, via HBO, to find out.

Warning NSFW:

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  • LOGICandREASON

    Maher thinks he is funny?

  • King Of Hell

    Brilliant! Enough to make a teabaggers head explode. See you in HELL!

  • slickerwick

    But Pelosi just came out today and said she doesn’t want him to resign. At this point neither do I. The humiliation is just too rich. And it’s comedy gold.
    When he first appears in Congress after this everyone will be glued to C-Span and you know what they’ll be thinking when they see him, what images will be dancing around in their heads.
    The guy even looks like a lounge lizard. Or a sleazy salamander.

  • slickerwick

    King Of Hell said:
    Brilliant! Enough to make a teabaggers head explode. See you in HELL!

    At this point it’s the libs whose heads are exploding. The “teabaggers” are exploding with laughter.

  • ChrisNH

    Maher needs to focus on ‘dramatic readings of Weiner-texts’ because ‘His Boy Lollipop,’ Obamo, is proven to be an inept president more and more by the hour. A collapsing economy he decides he doesn’t really want to fix is angering millions; the stock market is crashing. And yet the big-eared cigarette smoker simply wants to rest on his ‘I Killed Osama With My Bare Hands’ laurels.

    Happily, the bludgeoning of Obamo will only escalate as the months progress…regardless of what grease-ball Maher says or does.

  • catfishjuggling

    Let me save everyone a bunch of time. Every one of the 13 angry right-wing, constant-posters comes on here and bitches about Maher.

    Blah.

    Blah.

    Blah.

  • ChrisNH

    catfishjuggling said:
    Let me save everyone a bunch of time. Every one of the 13 angry right-wing, constant-posters comes on here and bitches about Maher.

    Blah.

    Blah.

    Blah.

    Let me save everyone a bunch of time. Every time one of the six angry Leftist Obamo breast-feeders here comes on here to defend ‘Their Boy Lollipop,’ this is what you get:

    elitist indignation whah-whah
    elitist indignation whah-whah
    elitist indignation whah-whah
    elitist indignation whah-whah
    elitist indignation whah-whah

  • catfishjuggling

    ChrisNH said:
    Let me save everyone a bunch of time. Every time one of the six angry Leftist Obamo breast-feeders here comes on here to defend ‘Their Boy Lollipop,’ this is what you get: elitist indignation whah-whahelitist indignation whah-whahelitist indignation whah-whahelitist indignation whah-whahelitist indignation whah-whah

    Very original.

    Well now we can all go home, can’t we.

    The end.

  • slickerwick

    Youtube political ad: We need Holden and Weiner in the White House. (Paid for by the committee for Holden Weiner.)
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=28mM1TvXO4U

  • Nature Freak

    Cat juice.

  • Gasket

    ChrisNH said:
    Maher needs to focus on ‘dramatic readings of Weiner-texts’ because ‘His Boy Lollipop,’ Obamo, is proven to be an inept president more and more by the hour. A collapsing economy he decides he doesn’t really want to fix is angering millions; the stock market is crashing. And yet the big-eared cigarette smoker simply wants to rest on his ‘I Killed Osama With My Bare Hands’ laurels.

    Happily, the bludgeoning of Obamo will only escalate as the months progress…regardless of what grease-ball Maher says or does.

    Yet…the country still thinks he’s the best person for the job over any of you (as the lady from Vegas put it) “c@ck-sucking Republicans!” That has to suck! Pun intended.

  • glenn113

    Bill Maher is the best!

  • http://www.mediaite.com/tv/glenn-beck-explains-how-the-unions-are-using-teachers-firefighters-and-co ImNotBlue

    Ugh… another “dramatic reading” sketch.

    This might be the most hackneyed comedic device of the post-2000s. From reading Wiener’s sexts, to reading Lady Gaga’s lyrics, to Sarah Palin emails, and on and on and on… it’s been done to death.

    I don’t expect much from Maher (and he never disappoints), but even for him, this is lame.

  • Nature Freak

    slickerwick said:
    But Pelosi just came out today and said she doesn’t want him to resign. At this point neither do I. The humiliation is just too rich. And it’s comedy gold.
    When he first appears in Congress after this everyone will be glued to C-Span and you know what they’ll be thinking when they see him, what images will be dancing around in their heads.
    The guy even looks like a lounge lizard. Or a sleazy salamander.

    IN MY OPINION
    Behind the scenes Pelosi is telling Weiner he’s dead to her metaphorically speaking and must leave now..
    The Democrats want Weiner out as Anthony has crossed the Rubicon now with the revelation of a 17 year old.
    The next 24 hours they will try to let Weiner save face but after that the NYC Dems are going to go medieval on Anthony as he is a liability

  • Alice67 June 30th! Bye Bye Beckerhead

    Now that was funny.

  • Nature Freak

    I just watched the clip.
    Bill Maher and Jane Lynch were hilarious.
    I need to watch Real Time with Bill Maher more often

    Those rooster sucking republicans!

  • slickerwick

    If Repubs are c***suckers, that makes them Weiner’s favorite kind of people.

  • slickerwick

    Nature Freak said:
    IN MY OPINION
    Behind the scenes Pelosi is telling Weiner he’s dead to her metaphorically speaking and must leave now..
    The Democrats want Weiner out as Anthony has crossed the Rubicon now with the revelation of a 17 year old.
    The next 24 hours they will try to let Weiner save face but after that the NYC Dems are going to go medieval on Anthony as he is a liability

    Maybe after viewing Weiner’s weiner, Pelosi decided he was too big to fail.

  • Newsjunky

    That was freaking hilarious! I’m still laughing… Jane Lynch was awesome.

  • NeoKong

    That’s the first time that little prick has been funny in about five years.

  • slickerwick

    King Of Hell said:
    Brilliant! Enough to make a teabaggers head explode. See you in HELL!

    You’re going to hell where you’ll meet teabaggers? The teabaggers heads are expolding because a Dem disgraced himself? Try to make sense. Put down the bong, open a window and breathe some fresh air.

  • Dem4Ever

    This was outstanding…Mahar is eating his own kind. Bill you keep it up and don’t let your Lib/Prog friends try and stop you. Hilarious!!!

  • kflynn

    David Vitter.

  • slickerwick

    kflynn said:
    David Vitter.

    John Edwards.

  • Dem4Ever

    kflynn said:
    David Vitter.

    Bill Clinton

  • BFD

    Pretty funny.

    What’s up with Janeanne Garafalo? She got AIDS or just anorexic?

    She looks like the Octomom on crack.

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  • Nacho

    ImNotBlue said:
    Ugh… another “dramatic reading” sketch.

    This might be the most hackneyed comedic device of the post-2000s. From reading Wiener’s sexts, to reading Lady Gaga’s lyrics, to Sarah Palin emails, and on and on and on… it’s been done to death.

    I don’t expect much from Maher (and he never disappoints), but even for him, this is lame.

    I’m sure you prefer pleasuring yourself when you hear the friends on the curvy couch repeat it.

  • JasonMays

    Gasket said:
    Yet…the country still thinks he’s the best person for the job over any of you (as the lady from Vegas put it) “c@ck-sucking Republicans!” That has to suck! Pun intended.

    You mean the 40 year old black jack dealer from the Golden Nugget is your political twin?

    Did you have cheesy phonesex with Weiner as well?

  • ChrisNH

    catfishjuggling said:

    Well now we can all go home, can’t we.

    To wait on your porch for yet another entitlement check, no doubt.

  • http://www.mediaite.com/tv/glenn-beck-explains-how-the-unions-are-using-teachers-firefighters-and-co ImNotBlue

    @ Nacho

    What are you talking about? What friends? Who’s couch?

    I just think as a comedic device, the “dramatic reading” has run its course.

  • catfishjuggling

    ChrisNH said:
    To wait on your porch for yet another entitlement check, no doubt.

    Yes. You see because anyone who doesn’t spout hate all day long for the current President must be on welfare. It is the only possibility. Also, I am a poo poo head.

    Just curious: do you have a job? I post here sometimes in the evenings, rarely during the days. I am in outside sales, so I really don’t have much spare time. You seem to be constantly on here. Are you so wealthy that you have the time? I would love to learn your secret.

  • valkyrie101

    Dem4Ever said:
    Bill Clinton

    Richard Nixon.

  • valkyrie101

    ChrisNH said:
    To wait on your porch for yet another entitlement check, no doubt.

    Yea, like the oil companies.

  • seek

    Didn’t listen. Obviously Maher’s sense of humour and mine are worlds apart.

    Did Richard Nixon have sex tapes, or was that a deflection? I’m so confused…. Did the oil companies send out the sex texts? What in the world?

  • Pablo

    catfishjuggling said:
    Let me save everyone a bunch of time. Every one of the 13 angry right-wing, constant-posters comes on here and bitches about Maher.

    Blah.

    Blah.

    Blah.

    Let me save everyone a bunch of time: catfishjuggling is whining about “right-wingers” again.

  • Pablo

    Nacho said:
    I’m sure you prefer pleasuring yourself when you hear the friends on the curvy couch repeat it.

    That’s an odd certainty you’ve got there, Nacho. Just because you spend a lot of time stroking yourself to the TV doesn’t mean everyone does that.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Denny-Flojak/1550780778 Denny Flojak

    Oh please, please, please, Tony, don’t quit. I am so in love with the continuing saga, if it can only last until November ’12. The campaign slogan’s against dem’s, that are so happy to have this guy, who has no family values problems like the f@@@ing republicans, texting people he doesn’t know stuff like this and pictures of the big lebowski is tee shirt heaven in the making. The next mayor of New York, tony kielbasa says, “ride the bobbing banana to city hall.” ” I’m wet for anthony. ” How about, “When he’s not jerking off in the shower, he’s fighting for the City of New York.” Vote for me and you get the whole package. Anyone, anyone.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Denny-Flojak/1550780778 Denny Flojak

    By the way, that pop up of Neil Patrick Harris with the ballon, wanna see something awesome, should Anthony apply for that job. i’m sure he’d get more clicks than harris, oh the anticipation.

  • valkyrie101

    seek said:
    Didn’t listen. Obviously Maher’s sense of humour and mine are worlds apart. Did Richard Nixon have sex tapes, or was that a deflection? I’m so confused…. Did the oil companies send out the sex texts? What in the world?

    Well, read the thread why don’t ya. “Entitlement check”, “Oil companies”, you get the connection, right? And how is it possible to mention Clinton without mentioning Nixon?

  • valkyrie101

    Maher is no William Shatner.

  • Rivermont

    Nacho said:
    I’m sure you prefer pleasuring yourself when you hear the friends on the curvy couch repeat it.

    You sure have experience doing that. When are you going to lube up and send out your pics?

  • Rivermont

    I’m so glad Weiner was so busy saving America, the “Caped Crusader” that he is.

  • valkyrie101

    Would have been way funnier if George Takei did the weiner part.

  • valkyrie101

    Rivermont said:
    I’m so glad Weiner was so busy saving America, the “Caped Crusader” that he is.

    Actually, he preferred a quiet room with a phone.

  • Rivermont

    King Of Hell said:
    Brilliant! Enough to make a teabaggers head explode. See you in HELL!

    I’m sure you were taking notes of what Weiner said so you can quote him the next time you are on the phone with your Area Code 900 girlfriends.

  • Rivermont

    kflynn said:
    David Vitter.

    FDR,
    JFK,
    LBJ,
    Clinton,
    RFK,
    EMK,
    Crane,
    Edwards,
    Frank
    Inouye,
    Fred Richmond,
    Wayne Hays,
    Gerry Studds,
    Mel Reynolds,
    James McGreevey,
    Jesse Jackson,
    Gary Condit,
    Eliot Spitzer,
    Neil Goldschmidt,
    Allan Turner Howe,
    Joseph Waggonner Jr.,
    Jerry Springer
    Eric Massa
    Anthoney Weiner

  • Rivermont

    Those should be read into the Congressional Record.

  • catfishjuggling

    Pablo said:
    Let me save everyone a bunch of time: catfishjuggling is whining about “right-wingers” again.

    Not right wingers. Just the specific set of angry hobos and jobless hillbillies who spend all damned day on here bitching about everyone to their left.

    The are an amazingly large number of thoughtful and charming people on the right. Sadly, it’s the hateful and small people like you who have taken a thought movement and morphed it into a dumb identity movement.

  • tws258

    catfishjuggling said:
    Not right wingers. Just the specific set of angry hobos and jobless hillbillies who spend all damned day on here bitching about everyone to their left.
    The are an amazingly large number of thoughtful and charming people on the right. Sadly, it’s the hateful and small people like you who have taken a thought movement and morphed it into a dumb identity movement.

    Weiner ignore your texts ? : (

  • catfishjuggling

    tws258 said:
    Weiner ignore your texts ? : (

    Nice job returning to a thought movement.

  • tws258

    catfishjuggling said:
    Nice job returning to a thought movement.

    LOL WUT

    Back atcha , Sparky .

  • writer

    “Angry hobos.” “Jobless hillbillies.”

    Glad the left doesn’t get angry.

  • tws258

    writer said:
    “Angry hobos.” “Jobless hillbillies.”
    Glad the left doesn’t get angry.

    Thought movement .

  • valkyrie101

    tws258 said:
    writer said:
    “Angry hobos.” “Jobless hillbillies.”
    Glad the left doesn’t get angry.
    Thought movement .

    Scared Texans

  • catfishjuggling

    writer said:
    “Angry hobos.” “Jobless hillbillies.”Glad the left doesn’t get angry.

    Oh. I’m sorry. I should have just said “Kenyan” and “Marxist.” Then you’d have been impressed with my rhetoric.

    Only in a bizarro world like this am I the left.

    But whatever gives you comfort.

    Have a good day.

  • seek

    catfishjuggling said:
    Not right wingers. Just the specific set of angry hobos and jobless hillbillies who spend all damned day on here bitching about everyone to their left.

    The are an amazingly large number of thoughtful and charming people on the right. Sadly, it’s the hateful and small people like you who have taken a thought movement and morphed it into a dumb identity movement.

    Gee cat. If you care to do some re-reading of the posts, you might just discover that you are sorely mistaken. The right is usually well behaved and responds to the story; the left attacks the right person who is usually well behaved and responding to story. It’s kind of sad when the evidence is right in front of you and you still can’t see it. I don’t know what the cure is – I really don’t.

    p.s. Remember we are the rich guys so how can we be jobless hobos? I would imagine the jobless want all the money that other people want to give them. Somehow, even that part doesn’t fit your description of who we are. I’m sooooo confused…..

  • valkyrie101

    writer said:
    “Angry hobos.” “Jobless hillbillies.” Glad the left doesn’t get angry.

    How about Oregon Trail trash?

  • tws258

    valkyrie101 said:
    Scared Texans

    catfishjuggling’s from Texas ? Who knew .

  • writer

    Have a good day.

    See, the left can be nice. I knew it.

  • andybuildz

    That bit Maher did last night had me ROTFLMFAO. An absolutely brilliant bit of comedy. Reminded me a little of Stan Mack’s real life comedies that used to be a cartoon in TheVillage Voice. http://stanmack.com/ Sometimes the most simple obvious points..are the funniest….kinda like the Republicon’s list of Presidential picks..hahahaha

  • njoy-d-ride

    This is SO Bill Maher !!!

  • got a grip

    Can’t normally stand Maher, but this is hilarious…seriously, Jane Lynch should be in the running for an Emmy next year in the category of guest appearances.

  • omega919

    Love Real Time and I love Bill’s stand-ups. However, outside of New Rules, his comedy bits on the show are really hit and miss… and, sadly, more miss than hit.

    However, THIS was a grand-slam home run! I honestly can’t see how anyone couldn’t find this funny, unless you just blindly hate Bill, regardless.

  • jrd

    ImNotBlue said:
    Ugh… another “dramatic reading” sketch. This might be the most hackneyed comedic device of the post-2000s.

    Ditto.

  • Rivermont

    What’s more disturbing is the the women in Nevada, who sexts chats Maher was reading on another post on Mediaite, never even thought it was strange that a sitting Dem Lib Congressman would be sexting her or sending her crotch shots. She thought THAT was perfectly normal for a Dem Lib Congressman to do!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Bruce-Kennedy/1439463341 Bruce Kennedy

    seek said:
    Gee cat. If you care to do some re-reading of the posts, you might just discover that you are sorely mistaken. The right is usually well behaved and responds to the story; the left attacks the right person who is usually well behaved and responding to story. It’s kind of sad when the evidence is right in front of you and you still can’t see it. I don’t know what the cure is – I really don’t.

    p.s. Remember we are the rich guys so how can we be jobless hobos? I would imagine the jobless want all the money that other people want to give them. Somehow, even that part doesn’t fit your description of who we are. I’m sooooo confused…..

    I’m guessing your confusion is nothing new. I’ll bet you’ve been confused for most of your life.

  • patricia5

    how peculiar, it wasn’t so long ago that weiner was on maher’s show bashing the tea party members. something to the effect that most of them don’t own shoes. now we have a lesbian on mahers show bashing weiner. i guess there is NO honor among socialists. i said it before and i’ll say it again, when it comes to progressive socialists and viscous mobs you never know when they’ll turn on each other, and make one of their own the new target. everybody’s best friend and worst enemy these socialists.

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  • Raygun

    Jesus Christ that was hilarious.

    patricia5 said: i guess there is NO honor among socialists.

    Uh, this actually shows the opposite. They’re making fun of him when he does something horrible instead of letting it go. Also, please try using Caps when you type.

  • http://www.snowspot.net Snowspot

    Rivermont said:
    Those should be read into the Congressional Record.

    heh wow, that’s why you aren’t in government.

  • seek

    Bruce Kennedy said:
    I’m guessing your confusion is nothing new. I’ll bet you’ve been confused for most of your life.

    you betcha. About the left and their inability to converse without put downs – you betcha.

    How’s your day? Feeling good about the little wiener?

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Bruce-Kennedy/1439463341 Bruce Kennedy

    seek said:
    you betcha. About the left and their inability to converse without put downs – you betcha.

    How’s your day? Feeling good about the little wiener?

    I don’t suffer from “Weiner” envy, like you obviously do.

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  • Prom Night Dumpster Baby

    Wow those were authentic exchanges? I guess you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, but damn, Weiner is a freak of levels I never would have imagined.

    And I thought I was nasty. Yowza.

  • patricia5

    Raygun said:
    Jesus Christ that was hilarious.

    Uh, this actually shows the opposite. They’re making fun of him when he does something horrible instead of letting it go. Also, please try using Caps when you type.

    It’s called throwing someone under the bus, not that he didn’t need to be. He must have learned that from our President. The backstabbing is just as hilarious as reciting sexting on TV. Gotta make a buck one way or another. Don’t you just love the progressive socialists who make millions from capitalism. Uh, do you feel any better now that I’ve used caps?

  • Jelperman

    That last line from Jane Lynch (as Lisa Weiss) should be in every Dem campaign ad in 2012.

  • murphy0071

    The best head in the world was from a Republican Evangelical married preacher. He made Deep Throat a joke.

  • DwightScrute

    Gasket said:
    Yet…the country still thinks he’s the best person for the job over any of you (as the lady from Vegas put it) “c@ck-sucking Republicans!” That has to suck! Pun intended.

    Nancy Pelosi, Debbie Wasserman Schultz, and Steny Hoyer are now “c@ck-sucking Republicans”? When did that happen? And NY’s 9th district is now referred to as “the country”? That’s amazing! Please share your sources.

  • DwightScrute

    murphy0071 said:
    The best head in the world was from a Republican Evangelical married preacher. He made Deep Throat a joke.

    Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

    You got head from a Republican Evangelical married preacher? And he was the best you ever had?

    Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Latin2

    Resign wiener.

  • bealzebubba

    That bit was hilarious. I laughed so hard my head hurt. Reminded me of the In Living Color bit where Jamie Fox and David Alan Grier played the role of seasoned Shakespearean actors reciting hip hop lyrics.

    Funny stuff.

    So are we past this thing yet or is the media going to continue to not focus on the debt ceiling issue?

  • msblkwidow

    ROTFLMAO –Oh how funny. It this what’s causing all the broohaha? Darn it. Sound to me like the two were having a lot of fun. Seriously, this is no different than a little phone sex…which is not illegal. And, it’s a very easy way for some man to get it up – especially when his wife can’t help him. Lots of men do this kinda thing all the time.
    Anthony, go on a resign. Live happily ever after with your wife Next time Anthony Weiner speaks he should not be so serious. This is too funny.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Mickey-Paviol/100001309666761 Mickey Paviol

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  • Just4thefax

    Fact: Class act move it to Los Vegas.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Kevin-Cusick/1215594294 Kevin Cusick

    Is Anthony Weiner going to hang in there? Check out “A Day in the Life of Anthony Weiner” on The Loop Now.com. It’s all fantasy, because the Congressman likes it that way.
    theloopnow.com/?p=8260

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