Melania Trump Gets Roasted Over Epstein in Savage, SNL-Style Late Show Open

First Lady Melania Trump’s bombshell press event about deceased sex criminal Jeffrey Epstein was the subject of a savage Late Show cold open starring comedian Laura Benanti on Monday.

Trump stunned the media world on Thursday afternoon with a surprise press event during which she lashed out over Epstein rumors and called for public hearings for the survivors.

While SNL only addressed the presser tangentially, Benanti opened Monday night’s edition of The Late Show with Stephen Colbert by holding an updated White House event that culminated in “Melania” gagging on words of love for President Donald Trump:

NARRATOR: The Late Show will begin after this important message from First Lady Melania Trump.

LAURA BENANTI AS MELANIA TRUMP: Hello. Last week, I held an extremely WTF press conference where I explained that I never spent any time with Jeffrey Epstein, except for all the time I spent with Jeffrey Epstein.

I gave my speech for many reasons. Most importantly, talking about Jeffrey Epstein distracts people from the war that was started to distract people from talking about Jeffery Epstein.

Yesterday that war got worse when the president decided to blockade the Strait of Hormuz and no one is more upset than me when my husband wants to do straight stuff.

So, to once again distract from the war, I would like to make the following announcements.

Just as I rarely hung out with Jeffrey Epstein, I rarely cooked with Jeffrey Dahmer. We just had overlapping social circles in Milwaukee.

I also want to insist that I am not a clone of Melania that was created to appear in public with my husband. I am the real one.

Last I want to put the rumors of marital trouble to rest by saying I live at the White House and I am absolutely in love with my (GAGGING NOISE).

I am in love with my hus–HUAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I am in love with my hu-OOLH!

Oh, I can’t do it. Bring in the clone!

Watch above via The Late Show with Stephen Colbert.

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