Top Five Questions CNN Anchor Eliot Spitzer Should Ask Disgraced Politician Eliot Spitzer

Now that CNN has officially announced Elliot Spitzer as the new co-host for their upcoming 8 PM show, we can all look forward to seeing the former governor of New York fulfill the promise of his surprisingly good tenure on MSNBC.

Of course, the segment everyone will most want to see from the new program will never happen, mostly because it’s physically impossible. That segment is, of course, an interview between hard-hitting cable anchor Eliot Spitzer and disgraced former Gov. Eliot Spitzer.

Think about it: Spitzer vs. Spitzer. It would be the best interview in the history of everything ever. It would be like Frost/Nixon but with an even greater guarantee that someone will win an Oscar for the inevitable movie adaptation! If only we had a time machine…

Even though it’s impossible, we at Mediaite are still allowed to dream and, in our dreams, we created this list of the top 5 questions we’d love to hear asked during this epic (and imaginary) meeting:

5. “As a politician embroiled in a scandal that is completely disrupting your professional and personal lives, isn’t it nice to talk to someone you can relate to?”

4. “Where do you see yourself in two years?”

3. “Have you been watching the news coverage of the scandal and, if so, would you mind writing down the names of every CNN correspondent who says something mean? I’m totally gonna mess with their lunches in the break room.”

2. “What are your feelings about David Paterson? What would you say if I said he almost makes you look good?”

1. “Take a good look at where you are now. Now take a good look at me. Would you describe your mind as having been blown, shattered, or completely obliterated?”

So, if any of our readers are mad scientists currently working on plans for a time machine or are, in fact, travelers from the future who have infiltrated our present time and already have a time machine, please make our dreams come true. Otherwise we are just going to have to wait for the inevitable awkward moment where Spitzer is required to weigh in on a disgraced politician. All signs point to it being a short wait.