Doin’ The Millions: Mitt Romney Busted On John Kerry Over Size Of His House In 2004


On the heels of an oppo leak that former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney plans a megabucks renovation of his La Jolla beach house that includes a car elevator, and another leak of Romney’s veto of elevator improvements for the disabled, Buzzfeed has dug up a clip of Romney in 2004, cracking wise about the size of then-presidential candidate Sen. John Kerry‘s house, telling a gathering of the RGA “There’s a Senator from my state who wants to get elected President. I don’t know why he would want to do that, because he would have to move into a smaller house.”

This is just the latest in a long string of items that feed the narrative that Romney is an out-of-touch zillionaire who is out of touch, and is a zillionaire, but in reality, it is the rest of us who are out of touch. We’re just not used to this kind of humor from Romney, who usually sticks to “your rain ponchos are so cheap…” jokes or factory-closing zingers when he’s in mixed company. When really rich guys get together, though, this is how they cut up, they play their version of “the dozens.”

In an effort to help our readers get acclimated to this pastime, and thus help them relate better to Mitt Romney, I’ve prepared my Top Ten “Your House Is So Big” Jokes:

10. Your house is so big, your address is just a Zip code.

9. Your house is so big, your butler has to carry a GPS.

8. Your house is so big that 7 hikers per year go missing in it.

7. Your house is so big, your swimming pool has its own Coast Guard station.

6. Your house is so big, you have to clear Customs to go to the bathroom.

5. Your house is so big, when you release the hounds, you have to give them a pack of provisions.

4. Your house is so big, whole societies have developed in parts of it that you’re completely unaware of.

3. Your house is so big, you need EZ Pass to get up your driveway.

2. Your house is so big, your momma fits in it.

1. Your house is so big, Sarah Palin can see it from her porch.

Here’s the clip, via Buzzfeed:

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