It’s true — sometimes the celebrity industrial complex is a bit much online. Take for instance, the “upskirt” pictures of a teen star (decried as foul by Gossip Cop) or the endless array of Perez Hilton-curated celeb photos defaced with crude drawings of penises. It can all get a little tiresome and arguably cross the line into immoral and illegal, but should anyone really be fighting fire and bile with rainbows and kittens? No, we’re not talking about LOLcats — it’s Hallmark’s new “anti-TMZ” website, Celebrity Good Life.
Under the slogan “Cleaning Up the Red Carpet,” the card giant is attempting to counter the overwhelming celeb-centric negativity on the internet with a new site dedicated to serving “the masses who are tired of the mudslinging.” According to Folio, Hallmark released a statement announcing the launch, which included the following choice quote:
“Whether the news is love and marriage, children, chivalry, dream home, dream vacation, enlightenment, or benevolent altruism, Dixon and Whitney will shine a light through every sector of show business, putting deserving entertainers in a favorable spot.”
So let’s recap: in what could be the most futile endeavor of all time, Hallmark is trying to counteract the millions who turn to the web for a bit of schadenfreude and salacious gossip by setting up a blog to… advertise for the Hallmark Channel? Right now, the site’s most prominent spot features a giant ad for the upcoming original TV movie Always & Forever. Hallmark: cleaning up the internet one hug at a time.
To be honest, the whole thing smells of a hoax, from the skeletal and sloppy web design, to the bare content (try “Brain Snacks for Kids”) and headlines like [sic] “Celebrities Commemorate the Anniversary of the September 11 attacks.” Hallmark, if you’re listening, it’s not too late to cry “hacked!” and undo this endeavor once and for all.
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