‘I Won’t Be Able to Ski on the Slushy Slopes of Sochi’: GOP Sen. Devastated by Russian Sanctions
Russia issuing sanctions against U.S. politicians has managed to confirm one thing for us: yes, politicians do actually have a sense of humor. The latest example of this is Indiana Senator Dan Coats taking a page from the David Letterman playbook with a list of Top 10 Reasons he’s truly devastated by this news.
Russia issued sanctions against U.S. officials after the U.S. did the same to Russian individuals with ties to the government (because apparently foreign policy can now be reduced to “I’m rubber, you’re glue”), and at least one of the Russians sanctioned thinks it’s hilarious he’s being punished by being prevented from going to the United States.
On the other side, you’ve had a number of U.S. politicians making light of Russia’s sanctions, and now Coats is getting in on the action.
10. I won’t be able to complete my granddaughter’s Russian doll collection
— Senator Dan Coats (@SenDanCoats) March 21, 2014
9. I won’t be able to compare the Bolshoi Opera House with the Palladium in Carmel
— Senator Dan Coats (@SenDanCoats) March 21, 2014
8. I’ll never learn the Russian name for our dog Hoosier
— Senator Dan Coats (@SenDanCoats) March 21, 2014
7. I won’t be able to ski on the slushy slopes of Sochi
— Senator Dan Coats (@SenDanCoats) March 21, 2014
6. I won’t be able to buy Marsha a Russian mink coat for Christmas
— Senator Dan Coats (@SenDanCoats) March 21, 2014
5. I won’t be able to counsel Duma members on how to say no to a President
— Senator Dan Coats (@SenDanCoats) March 21, 2014
4. I’ll have to cancel my tennis match with Maria Sharapova
— Senator Dan Coats (@SenDanCoats) March 21, 2014
3. I won’t be able to compare Russiaville, IN with Russia
— Senator Dan Coats (@SenDanCoats) March 21, 2014
2. I won’t be able to see if borscht really does taste just like pork tenderloin
— Senator Dan Coats (@SenDanCoats) March 21, 2014
1. Our summer vacation in Siberia is a no go
— Senator Dan Coats (@SenDanCoats) March 21, 2014
You can catch Senator Coats opening at the Comedy Cellar next week.
[h/t TPM]
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