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Stewart Brings The Sanity, Colbert The Fear To Rally

After several months of hype and confusion, a crowd of thousands and those watching at home finally got to see what Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert‘s Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear was all about: level-headedness, moderation, and patriotism for the country of Chile.

After wisely advising the crowd not to litter, Stewart kept to his promise that the purpose of his rally was to “restore sanity,” and, arguing that, for a rally to have impact, it must have a certain demographic makeup, sent out Daily Show regulars Samantha Bee and Aasif Mandvi to do a person-by-person census of the rally. After all, you can’t have too many white people, he argued, “but if you have too many people of color at the rally, then you must be asking for something, special rights like ___ and piggyback rights, something our society is just not ready to give.” After finding several white people, one of whom hit on his shamelessly, Stewart gave up on the plan, just in time to be interrupted by a terrified, shirtless Colbert.

Colbert was hiding, “trapped,” in his “fear bunker” 2000 feet below the stage. Today’s fear? “I’m terrified that no one showed up to our rally,” he told Stewart. His fears assuaged by footage of the crowd, he was lifted out of the bunker by a recreation of the Chilean miner excavation, landing on the stage chanting “Chi-le!” enthusiastically, then demanded the crowd “bow before us, minions!”

The opening to today’s Rally to Restore Sanity via C-SPAN below:

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