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Stephen Colbert Is Now Offering $500K To Sponsor South Carolina’s GOP Primary (With A Few Conditions)

by Jon Bershad | 1:58 pm, December 22nd, 2011

» 44 comments

Ever since Stephen Colbert’s Colbert Super PAC first became a real thing, it was clear that he and his staff were creating a fairly ingenious statement condemning the corrupt nature of campaign finance as it now is in our nation. But there was one big question remaining; what the heck was he going to do with all that money? Sure, he bought some ad space in primary states, but there were a whole lot of contributor names scrolling by on our TV screens. What did he have planned? Well, a guest editorial Colbert wrote in South Carolina’s The State has been published today and it reveals some of the behind the scenes dealings that were going on and shows just how brilliant he and his staff’s plan has been.

Recently, there has been a growing debate in South Carolina (Colbert’s home state) over who exactly would pay for the Republican Party’s primary, the first in the southern part of America. State officials had actually begun suing the political parties over the fact that taxpayers were going to have to foot the bill for the vast majority of the costs including debates, advertisements, etc. Colbert then offered to foot $400,000 to help pay the cash-strapped counties’ share. According to his editorial, the South Carolina Republican Party were eager to accept the money…even with some conditions Colbert put forth.

From Colbert’s editorial:

“[The South Carolina GOP representatives] got on a plane and flew to New York to make the deal. Because money talks, B.S. walks, and $400,000 flies business class.

We hammered out a contract over barbecue. Colbert Super PAC would pay up to $400,000 directly to the state and counties to defray the cost of the election. In return, the primary’s official name would be ‘The Colbert Super PAC South Carolina Republican Primary.’ This name would appear on all press releases, official notices and signage, including the debates. We would finally raise democracy to the same level as the Tostitos™ Fiesta Bowl and Kardashian™ weddings.

Most importantly, the following non-binding referendum would appear on the ballot:

In order to address the issue of Corporate Personhood, the enfranchised People of the Sovereign State of South Carolina declare that:
( ) Corporations are people.
( ) Only people are people.”

Can we take a look at what Colbert did? The goal of this whole Colbert Super PAC situation has been to show off the immense level of corporate collusion and greed that goes into are electoral process and he’s done that in the most amazing way possible. He allegedly got people to agree to put a giant corporate logo infront of the entire primary. He literally got the very targets of his satire to agree to being complicit in the entire joke by manipulating their greed which was a part of the joke in the first place. This is basically as if Jonathan Swift had persuaded the British parliament to take a picture holding Irish babies covered in vinegar and served with chips! It’s amazing.

Unfortunately, the South Carolina Supreme Court then ruled against the counties, finding that they should still pay for some of the primary. However, if Colbert is to be believed, the GOP were still perfectly happy to take his money.

“The S.C. Republican Party no longer needed my $400,000, but being Southern gentlemen, they graciously offered to still want it. They would sell me the naming rights, if instead of giving my cash to the counties, I handed it directly to the party. I asked in return that they petition the court to get the referendum back on the ballot. They said no. I offered less money, $200,000, since I was getting only half of our original agreement. They said no.

Desperate, I reached out to the S.C. Democrats, who agreed to file a request to reinstate the referendum. That’s when the S.C. Republican Party withdrew their generous offer to sell me what they weren’t paying for. They told the press that my requests, ‘were considered but were declined,’ because they, ‘were concerned about the sanctity of the primary election.’

If nothing else good comes from this, we have at least narrowed down the exact value of sanctity — somewhere between $200,000 and $400,000.”

Shortly after, news broke that the South Carolina GOP had broken its promise and wasn’t planning on paying more than half of the bill resulting in the Election Commission needing to ask for a taxpayer bailout. So Colbert is again offering money to the state, this time $500,000, again with conditions:

“In return, I ask for only two things: that you support the Democrats’ petition to get my referendum back on the ballot, and that you grant me the pre-negotiated naming rights, which, I think we can all agree, you now own.”

According to the Associated Press, the Election Commission is currently in the process of asking the state’s attorney general if they can accept the money.

The state Republicans will have you believe that they turned down Colbert’s offer right away. However, if he has written this editorial, chances are good that he has evidence to the contrary. If that’s the case, this whole thing will prove to be one of the most ingenius deconstruction of a political issue any comedian has ever attempted.

The Daily Show frequently gets more credit than The Colbert Report, winning most of the Emmy’s and whatnot, but it seems unlikely that they’d ever try anything like this (or be able to what with not having a “character” like Colbert’s persona in the forefront). Colbert and his staff truly deserve their due appreciation for what they’re accomplishing here.

And, the best part? There’s still a chance that every news channel in the country is going to have to start talking about “The Colbert Super PAC South Carolina Republican Primary.”

Colbert SuperPAC, South Carolina, stephen colbert, The Colbert Report

Anonymous

Take his money and kick him to the back of the bus.
http://twitter.com/TommyBennett Tom Bennett

Colbert is a true conservative!
Anonymous

I hope the Republicans will fall for it.
Anonymous

Stephen Colbert is truly a National Treasure. He is the heir to Will Rogers.
Anonymous

We should pay Colbert $500k to jump off a cliff just to see if his stupid fawning lemming fans follow him.

I wager they would.
Anonymous

He’s the Head-Heir!

Or, if you like, let’s call him Heirhead.
Hout Bosques

Na ga ha! Colbert is too smart for the GOP. Tom Delay went almost a year thinking The Colbert Report was a legit winger show.

I do think that to clinch this deal, he’s got to bring in the awesomely irresistible allure of Tostitos: The Colbert Super Pac South Carolina Republican Primary Vote brought to you by New Palmetto-flavored Tostitos!
Anonymous

here is a talentless hack that the libs just love…so guys he is all yours…I thought comedians are supposed to make you laugh….
Anonymous

This has to happen. It’s brilliant.
http://twitter.com/JohnQPubliq Jeff Hines

Colbert, like Obama, and Maher, and Olbermann, and Maddow….sees his brain through the Hubble.
Anonymous

“A fool and is money is soon parted” Take his money and laugh all the way to the bank. Colbert is a clown that should stay in the la la land of TV.
Anonymous

Do you really believe this? He is a comedian and that is the extent of Colbert.
Anonymous

It is great. “A fool and his money is soon parted” Take this guy money and laugh all the way to the bank.
Henry Wood

Will Rogers was also a comedian. Didn’t you know that?
Anonymous

I felt so giddy and jolly whilst reading this, really hope it goes through. This is the reason I like Colbert more than Stewart.
Anonymous

Of course I knew that. Do you think that I am an air head liberal. The difference was his comedy had common sense and was funny. Colbert has no common sense and is not funny. His small audience is composed of people on the lower end of the IQ scale. They will laugh at anything.

________________________________
From: Disqus
To: without_hate@yahoo.com
Sent: Friday, December 23, 2011 8:55 AM
Subject: [mediaite] Re: Stephen Colbert Is Now Offering $500K To Sponsor South Carolina’s GOP Primary (With A Few Conditions)

Disqus generic email template

Henry Wood wrote, in response to without_hate:
Will Rogers was also a comedian. Didn’t you know that?
Link to comment
WiddleBabyDanielson

This comment belongs in the Palin thread.
WiddleBabyDanielson

Do you think that I am an air head liberal.

Duh.
You claimed to be life long (D) and always vote (D).

Did you forget?
shonangreg

Without_hate, I find your comments to be practically worthless, but I would like to tell you that in your email reply to disqus, you’ve included your “without hate yahoo” email address. If you can get to a web browser, you can edit your message and remove your email address.

From an “air head liberal” ;-)
Greg
Anonymous

Did she offer money, I must have missed that story.

________________________________
From: Disqus
To: without_hate@yahoo.com
Sent: Friday, December 23, 2011 9:21 AM
Subject: [mediaite] Re: Stephen Colbert Is Now Offering $500K To Sponsor South Carolina’s GOP Primary (With A Few Conditions)

Disqus generic email template

WiddleBabyDanielson wrote, in response to without_hate:
This comment belongs in the Palin thread.
Link to comment
Anonymous

Colbert is pointing out how ridiculous our election process has become and doing a great job of it.
Anonymous

The conservatives here, and even some “life-long dems” (without_hate??) can’t see the irony, hypocrisy, and brilliant parody in the Colbert PAC time-line. He’s building a better tomorrow, tomorrow! They don’t even get that joke! There is no such thing as a sense of humor in conservative-land.
AMP2020

( ) Corporations are people.
( ) Only people are people
LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOL
Anonymous

Can you provide me the studies which show the IQ of Colbert’s viewers compared to the viewers of other television shows? I’d be really interested to see whether or not you’re right or whether or not you’re just making things up.
Anonymous

Doesn’t Steve know that all he has to do is drag a 100 dollar bill thru a S.C. trailer park for the same effect? Tea baggers will do any thing for a buck let alone two. I wonder If they realize how this man is insulting their entire party? I bet 10,000 $, not.
Smack80

OMG! Colbert and Co. are genius!
Anonymous

I feel you E67, this is called satire. Satire is “thinking mans humor”. You must think and then apply a dose of “irony”. Now run along back to FreakRepblic where you will be taxed with none of this.
Anonymous

You entire trailer park is not worth half that amount. But merry xmas anyway.
Anonymous

They fell for the Obama,Reid, Pelosie rope-a-dope today, didn’t they?
Anonymous

He meant being a skank chippy, she will take the money, the cake, the apple,the cookie, whatever the skezzer can get her claws on.
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_45S32GWGDRUJIL6E2U4HOZW4BM Bob

says the party of Larry the Cable Guy and Jeff Dunham
Anonymous

I’d like to see the stats showing how many people don’t get that Colbert is a satirist, but clearly some of them write comments here on Mediaite. Talk about low IQ!
Anonymous

Are you calling dear rachel a thinking man….tsk,tsk…she can only wish she were a thinker
http://www.facebook.com/people/Dan-Buckles/100000913763806 Dan Buckles

For a buck or a beer next door with their best friends wife while her husband is at work.
http://www.facebook.com/people/Dan-Buckles/100000913763806 Dan Buckles

Vote Republican is a vote for Corporations, as they are people and speech is money. How could any Republican argue with that?
http://www.facebook.com/people/Theresa-Darklady-Reed/581698361 Theresa ‘Darklady’ Reed

That does sound like the GOP way…
Anonymous

Teabaggers on about other peoples sex again. Time to tighten the chastity belts on the chickens.
http://twitter.com/WorldDivider Mark Prior

My grandfather calls Colbert the retard white guy in Spanish whenever he sees him on tv…
Anonymous

You must be very proud. WTF? Melbo

________________________________
From: Disqus
To: melbo58@yahoo.com
Sent: Friday, December 23, 2011 7:14 PM
Subject: [mediaite] Re: Stephen Colbert Is Now Offering $500K To Sponsor South Carolina’s GOP Primary (With A Few Conditions)

Disqus generic email template

Mark Prior wrote, in response to melbo58:
My grandfather calls Colbert the retard white guy in Spanish whenever he sees him on tv… Link to comment
Anonymous

See above comment from “without”_hate. Maybe satire doesn’t translate into Espanol.
Anonymous

“The S.C. Republican Party no longer needed my $400,000, but being Southern gentlemen, they graciously offered to still want it.”

Just brilliant.
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_4WYONZ2EI35Y2YX7F2UIRR4T6A Ron

He did make me laugh, at the system. You made me laugh too, at you.
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_4WYONZ2EI35Y2YX7F2UIRR4T6A Ron

He who pays the piper, calls the tune. Mind you, isn’t $500k kind of chump change in the political market these days? Hell, when it takes over a BILLION DOLLARS to run for president and win, that’s pocket change in political corruption.
Anonymous

Love that Colbert Report comes up with different ways to tackle dirty politics and politicians. Someone knows what needs to be done for our country!