As World Inches Closer to Nuclear Holocaust, Fox Business Runs Segment on Cheetos
The Washington Post reported on Tuesday that North Korea has successfully produced a nuclear warhead; by the afternoon President Donald Trump responded forcefully, with a reportedly ad-libbed threat of “fire and fury”; hours later North Korea announced they are assessing a plan to attack Guam; and Wednesday morning Trump again responded, this time on Twitter, boasting of his nuclear arsenal.
This hour-by-hour escalation of tensions has sent the media into a frenzy of breathless coverage, including everything from tours of underground bunkers in anticipation of the impending apocalypse to more measured discussions urging easily excited pundits to keep it in their pants.
Flip over to Fox Business on Wednesday for Mornings With Maria, however, and the story of day was something far more innocuous: Cheetos.
So, here’s the deal: Cheetos, the snack most beloved by that nasty kid in your kindergarten who never washed his hands, is opening up a pop-up restaurant in New York City.
The Spotted Cheetah — God help us, that’s what they’re calling it — will have a Cheetos-inspired menu designed by celebrity chef Anne Burrell, who has ties to notorious “Mayor of Flavortown” Guy Fieri.
After airing an ad for The Spotted Cheetah in which Burrell is shown chopping puffy Cheetos with a cooking knife, Maria Bartiromo’s panel took a shallow dive into the merits of the “much-loved cheesy treats that are fun for everyone!”
(Click the link to find out more about Cheetos, including the harrowing revelation that there is actually a word for the disgusting cheese-dust that sticks to your fingers during a Cheeto binge, and it’s “cheetle”.)
While Dagen McDowell confessed she occasionally gets “hit with that wave of needing some Cheetos,” failed bassist Mike Huckabee rambled about the lines at Starbucks, before making an awkward reference to the news of the day:
“For those of us who just want a stinking cup of coffee, we’ve got to stand behind these people who are asking for things that are more complicated than the formula for a nuclear weapon.”
Disclaimer: To be fair, this was a “business segment” on a network dedicated to business news, that also covered the events unfolding in North Korea. This article in no way is intended to besmirch journalistic bona fides of Fox Business or its news stalwarts like Lou Dobbs and others.
[image via screengrab]
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