Late Night Comedians Have a Field Day With Stormy’s Description of Trump’s Junk
Late night, naturally, had a field day with one particularly salacious allegation from Stormy Daniels‘ upcoming memoir, copies of which were sent to reporters this week.
Stormy — the porn star who President Donald Trump made sign a nondisclosure agreement during the 2016 election to keep quiet about an alleged affair — describes in her book, Full Disclosure, Trump’s penis in graphic detail.
“It has a huge mushroom head. Like a toadstool,” Daniels writes. “I lay there, annoyed that I was getting fucked by a guy with Yeti pubes and a dick like the mushroom character in Mario Kart.”
Safe to say that revelation devastated fans of Toad, the beloved Nintendo character, but it delighted late-night comics.
Jimmy Fallon first joked that every copy of Full Disclosure “comes with a bottle of Pepto-Bismol and a straw.”
Fallon tried his best to avoid mentioning the president’s “Trump Tower” explicitly, before joking that “in the new Mario Kart, Toad collects gold coins and uses them as hush money.”
Seth Meyers, whose signature segment “A Closer Look” examines the political news du jour, announced the quote from Stormy’s book.
“So for once, I’m gonna say let’s not take a closer look,” he said.
“That’s a joke about the news,” Meyers said. “You might be saying, ‘How dare you make a joke about a penis looking like a video game character.’ That’s the fucking news right now.”
“My head’s not in the gutter,” he continued. “It’s in the news, which is in the gutter.”
Jimmy Kimmel joked: “She describes Trump’s penis as ‘smaller than average,’ but admitted that she was impressed that it had his name embossed in gold on it,” he joked.
After noting Stormy’s description of Trump’s penis as Toad, Kimmel added, “And just like that, I will not eat a mushroom or play a video game ever again.”
“Stormy also said Trump knows he has an unusual penis,” he said. “I can’t wait for a reporter to ask Sarah Huckabee Sanders to deny that. Because that’s going to be magic.”
James Corden, meanwhile, added Toad to the list of things Trump has ruined. He also had a clarification for Stormy’s editor:
“Now listen, no matter what your politics are that’s just disrespectful,” Corden said. “He’s not the ‘mushroom character’ from Mario Kart. His name is Toad.”
VP Mike Pence didn’t “get the reference,” Corden added. “He’s never played Mario Kart because it features a woman driving.”
[image via screengrab]
