Stephen Colbert and Trevor Noah Mock the GOP ‘Cult’ After RNC Night 1: ‘They Only Care About Appeasing Trump Because It’s His Party Now’

Late-night hosts Stephen Colbert and Trevor Noah mocked the Republican Party for becoming a “cult” during their post-convention shows — both pointing to the fact the GOP isn’t updating its platform this year as proof that it’s President Donald Trump’s party now.

Colbert began his monologue by showing his second Avengers spinoff, but this time starring the members of the RNC, before he brutally mocked Donald Trump Jr. and Kimberly Guilfoyle’s speeches.

During last week’s post DNC shows, Colbert’s Avengers parody featured the Democratic party as Marvel’s very best heroes. Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden was cast as Captain America of course, while his running mate Kamala Harris was shown as Captain Marvel and Barack Obama as Iron Man.

This week’s episode took a look at Trump’s team, with the president leading the pack as supervillain Thanos. Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner were featured as Trump’s evil sidekicks while first lady Melania Trump played Thor: Ragnarok’s Hela,  Mitch McConnell was Red Skull, and William Barr was a beast. Colbert must not have thought Vice President Mike Pence needed an evil alter ego, since he played himself, while Eric Trump was featured as an out-of-place Batman.

The host then mocked the G.O.P.’s lack of platform, quipping that their only policy is “death” following the administration’s handling of the coronavirus.

“So death is one plank of the Republican platform — what else does the G.O.P. stand for?” Colbert asked. “No one knows, because it was announced last night that the G.O.P. will not write a 2020 platform. Well, that makes sense, given how much Trump struggles to get down from platforms.”

He noted that despite their lack of concrete policies, the Republican party has pledged their undying support to the president. “That’s not a political party — that’s a cult!” Colbert added.

“Welcome to the convention, everybody,” he added, mimicking the president. “Take off your masks and put on your matching Nikes and your MAGA hats. Then drink up our bleach-flavored Kool-Aid. I’m marrying all the daughters. Guess which one first?”

The host went on to mock Trump Jr. and Guilfoyle, calling one “high” and the other a “vengeful banshee.”

Colbert went after Guilfoyle first, poking fun at her uniquely loud speech before calling attention to her past relationship with Gov. Gavin Newsom (D-CA).

“Trump Jr. girlfriend and vengeful banshee who will haunt your dreams, Kimberly Guilfoyle, who screamed this message of hope,” he said before playing a clip of Guilfoyle yelling about the Democratic party. “If you want to see the socialist Biden-Harris future for our country, just take a look at California!” Guilfoyle exclaimed.

“I’m guessing that was not an amicable split,” Colbert said of Guilfoyle and Newsom. “But I think I know who was awarded custody of the rage, because when it came to the president’s agenda, she had some very nuanced screams.”

The host also joked that he would take a look at California but he can’t see it because it’s on fire due to climate change, a topic the Trump administration often denies.

Colbert went after Trump Jr. next, joking, “So before I tell you what he said, can we zoom in on Junior’s sweaty face and wet, bloodshot eyes? Either he’s high or that’s what happens when you live in the splash zone of Screamin’ Guilfoyle. Just bring a poncho!”

Noah also poked fun at the Republican party during his post-RNC show, but because he isn’t live yet, unlike his fellow host, he focused on the event’s premiere.

The host focused on the party’s roll call, which occurred Monday before the show kicked off, noting that it was very different from the DNC’s roll call last week.

“The RNC roll call was depressing, at least a DNC had a ninja chef posing on a beautiful beach,” he joked. “The most interesting person here looks like he’s getting his mugshot done for after being arrested for sweating too much.”

Noah similarly addressed the Republican party’s lack of platform and noted that the president is planning on speaking during every single night of convention week — an unusual yet perhaps predictable move.

“And you know, Trump making a speech every single night may seem unusual in terms of convention traditions, but if you think about it, it makes sense. The Democratic Party had to give everyone a speaking slot because they’re trying to appease a lot of different groups — Black people, Latinos, progressives, disaffected Republicans, fans of ABC shows,” Noah said. “The Republican Party, on the other hand — they only care about appeasing Trump, because it’s his party now and if you don’t like it, you can shut the f*ck up or join John Kasich in that field.”

Watch above, via YouTube.