Keep Calm and Carrion: Your Hot Pockets Recall Survival Kit

The world of portable foodstuffs was shaken to its core Tuesday with the announcement that Nestlé is recalling batches of Hot Pockets due to “improper meat inspections,” stemming from a larger recall involving a Hot Pockets meat supplier who was processing “diseased or unsound animals.”

The recall is of certain batches of Hot Pockets Philly Steak & Cheese and Hot Pocket Croissant Crust Philly Steak & Cheese, and was initiated because Nestlé discovered that some of the meat used in these batches was involved in a USDA recall of meat from the Rancho Feeding Corporation. From the U.S. Department of Agriculture:

Rancho Feeding Corporation, a Petaluma, Calif. establishment, is recalling approximately 8,742,700 pounds, because it processed diseased and unsound animals and carried out these activities without the benefit or full benefit of federal inspection. Thus, the products are adulterated, because they are unsound, unwholesome or otherwise are unfit for human food and must be removed from commerce, the U.S. Department of Agriculture’s Food Safety and Inspection Service (FSIS) announced today.

According to the USDA, you can’t even trust a 30 lb. box of beef lips, so if that was your fallback for Hot Pockets, you are out of luck.

If you still crave a Hot Pocket after all of that, though, have no fear, because we’ve got options. Here is your Hot Pockets Recall Survival Kit:

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