Today’s Worst News Ledes: 7/15/09

News reporters like to catch readers’ attention with a few zingy lines at the start of an article. Sometimes, these so-called “ledes” go horribly wrong. In Today’s Worst News Ledes, we highlight some of the worst offenders:

3. From the Kentucky Post:

While experts say they don’t have a universal description of what makes a Facebook addict, they have come up with a five point test to determine how much it is affecting your life.

“Experts say” is a perennial not-trying-too-hard lede that always raises our eyebrows. But this story ‘takes it to the max’ by a) using the term to refer to highly trained Facebook addiction experts, who at minimum have doctorates in Overcovered Social Network Epidemiology, and b) not actually interviewing anyone, but paraphrasing the bullet points in a CNN medical reporter’s listicle. Journalism!

2. From Reuters’ Front Row Washington Blog:

Today seems a bit like a repeat of yesterday, just with a bit of a twist.

On the healthcare front, action moves to the Senate side with the Health, Education, Labor and Pensions Committee due to finish work on and present its version of the healthcare bill. The Senate Finance Committee is still hammering out details on how to pay for a massive healthcare overhaul and holds a closed door meeting before it presents its version of the bill next week.

Twisty! Also, maybe as a special surprise there will be something about this “Sotomayor” character in the last three paragraphs (spoiler: there is), though when most people think of yesterday’s political news, they think about the Health, Education, Labor and Pensions Committee.

1. From the Chicago Tribune:

In a scene that would have played well in the movie “Bruno,” authorities say a man in his early 20s made off with more than $350 in fragrances from a Deerfield cosmetics store, including two bottles of cologne from one of the gay character’s favorite designers, D&G.

(For the uninitiated, Bruno explains the importance of those two trendy initials after he shows up at an Army boot camp wearing a uniform and a flashy white belt with D&G on the buckle. When the drill instructor angrily asks him what the initials mean, Bruno looks at him in amazement and says, “Dolce & Gabbana, hello!”)

The “this would have played well in Bruno” hook is already questionable enough, but this lede takes the cake for taking an additional paragraph to explain the joke. Helpfully, it mentions that Bruno is a “gay character,” for those who haven’t seen his magazine covers, his TV interviews, or his critical reception. What robbery story has ever explained a pop culture reference so thoroughly?