SNL Cold Open Mocks 2020 Democrats in NH Debate Sketch: ‘Let’s Meet Our Future MSNBC Contributors’
Saturday Night Live took turns roasting each of the Democratic candidates in a parody of the party’s recent New Hampshire debate and then, hinting at the future landing place of those assembled, joked: “Let’s meet our future MSNBC contributors.”
First up was former frontrunner Joe Biden, who expounded on his fourth-place Iowa finish withe some trademark Biden candor—and creepiness.
“Well, you know, I’ll be honest. Losing Iowa was a real kick in the nuts,” Biden said. “I’m not worried at all. Because by the time we get to South Kakalakie Joe Biden is going to do what Joe Biden does the best, creep up from behind. Just when you think your lead is safe, my numbers are going to come up and surprise you with a nice, sweet kiss on the neck.”
Bernie Sanders, played again by Larry David, ranted about the Iowa vote count snafu, in typical, old-man-yells-at-cloud style.
“I can’t believe all this mess happened in Iowa because of an app. Hey, I have an idea for an app, it’s called no apps!” Sanders yelled. “No apps, no computers, no gadgets, no gizmos. You show up to your polling place, take a number like you do at the butcher, they call your ticket, you walk up to the counter and say to the guy, ‘Give me a pound of whatever’s about to go bad.'”
Andrew Yang sensed an opening.
“Oh, the issue in Iowa was math, I wonder who they could have equaled to help them out with that?” Yang asked sarcastically while tugging on his jacket lapel adorned with a “MATH” pin. “Oh what, I meant because of my skin, racist.”
“I don’t want to talk about Iowa anymore, let’s talk about the here and now, all right?” Kate McKinnon’s weirdly excited Elizabeth Warren said, jumping in. “I’m very confident about my chances in New Hampshire. I tend to really connect with New England moms who own big dogs and rock a sleep vest out of the seven days a week. New Hampshire, your state border may be kissing Vermont, but your ass is resting on Massachusetts, so come on over and sit on my lap!”
Rachel Dratch, playing Amy Klobuchar, struck a more resasonable tone.
” I just want to add that Senator Warren is not the only sensible candidate standing here before you,” Klobuchar explained. “You are looking at the other half of the New York Times endorsement. But guess what, Elizabeth is J. Lo and I’m Shakira, and, so, to Donald Trump I say,” and then she did the “zaghrouta” tongue warble that Shakira performed at the Super Bowl halftime show.
Tom Steyer was definitely on something.
“I have my hand up now, I would like to talk please. Notice me, thank you,” a goofily grinning Steyer said. “I just want to say that I love everybody here. I mean, I agree with all of them, everybody, all of you. I’m sorry, I’m tripping balls right now.”
“Okay, this is my favorite part of the debate,” said a mock Linsey Davis, “here we ask about winning the black vote. I’m going to start with you, Mayor Pete.”
“Oh, man,” a dejected Pete Buttigieg said. “Look, people say I’m not very popular among minorities. They’ve been referring to me as ‘Mayo Pete.’ But I assure you I’m not that spicy.”
After the other six candidates offered their closing statements, the moderators turned back to Biden.
“Mr. Biden, you have 60 seconds.”
“What? No, the doctor said I have 6 to 8 months,” an alarmed Biden answered.
“No, I meant for your closing statement.”
“Oh, okay. All right, I guess there’s only one thing left to say. …Live from New York, it’s Saturday night!
Watch the video above, via NBC.
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