Five Jokes About “Dirtbag” Tiger Woods, Courtesy Of Glenn Beck

by Robert Quigley | 9:11 am, December 5th, 2009

» 14 comments

Is it just us, or has Glenn Beck been awfully low-key lately? Maybe it’s just post-Thanksgiving mellowness or Christmas Sweater promotions or something, but he has not been up to the grandstanding stunts like pretending to boil a live frog or finding communist artwork at 30 Rock that made him a household name/Glee punchline in record time.

Which is why we almost missed these Tiger Woods jokes Beck told on his radio program two days ago. He also called Tiger a “dirtbag:”From Beck’s riffs on the Tiger Woods scandal on The Glenn Beck Program, with cohost Pat Gray:

“What does Tiger Woods have in common with a baby seal? They both get clubbed by a Scandinavian.”
“Tiger’s been dropped from the rider’s cup team as his terrible pattern of being beaten by Europeans continues.”
“What’s the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards.”

What Woods should tell his wife about self-proclaimed mistress Jamie Grubbs:

“Who’s Jamie? The one that’s polishing my clubs.”

A final piece of advice that is not actually a joke at all:

“Here’s a way to stop it. Admit you’re a dirtbag and then move on.”

(from The Glenn Beck Program, via Digg)

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m

Sex joke? That’s not traditional values.
Cecelia

Oh, get a life…
Ted

Has Glenn admitted that he is in fact a dirt bag? All he has to do is admit it and then move on. Simple really.
SWWT

Geez, let’s at least let him make jokes about Tiger Woods in peace. C’mon guys.
Nachi

Glenn Beck would speak of – “Dirtbags”???
timzank

Normal people have no problem saying Tiger Woods should admit he’s a dirtbag. If YOU DON’T think he’s a dirtbag it’s pretty obvious you have no moral compass and you are a “progressive”.
Ted

Normal people think Glenn Beck is a dirt-bag. If you don’t think he’s a dirt-bag then it’s pretty obvious that you have no moral compass and you must be a teabagger.
roxsteady

Actually, I agree that Beck has the right to joke about Tiger. Keith Olbermann has done it as well. I like Tiger but, the person he needs to admit he’s a dirtbage to is his wife. Although, I’m sure she already knows but, hearing it from him would be nice. No matter what the rest of us think of him. While I hope he and his wife can work things out, I can admit that I can laugh at this like everyone else. I mean, look at her. She’s stunningly beautiful. You think, what’s wrong with him? I did read a comment from a guy on another website who said, for every hot chick, there’s a guy who’s tired of, well doing her. I cleaned it up but, you get the idea. I guess it’s similar to the phenomenon of beautiful women who are with unattractive guys. Rick Okasic from The Cars and Paulina Porizkova come to mind.
beetongs

Credit where credit is due: Glenn does admit that he is a dirtbag.
Ted

Beck said he WAS a dirt-bag when its clear to any normal human being that he IS a dirt-bag. Just admit it and move on.
timzank

So Ted, The guy that challenges the administration on a television show (open for all to agree or disgree with) for a living is a dirtbag, but the guy sneaking around behind his wife’s back screwing numerous women is hunky-dory? ok. got it.
Ted

Is that what you think I wrote? You have quite an imagination. Must be a teabagger…ok…got it.
dianabug

Ted – in my opinion YOU are a dirtbag.
Ted

Who cares…teabagger.