Jersey Shore Recap: The Situation Is Guido Dexter

recap/slideshow

by Steve Krakauer | 4:22 pm, October 8th, 2010

» 1 comment

Well this episode of Jersey Shore didn’t gain The Situation any Dancing With The Stars votes. Instead, The Situation was exposed as erratic and jealous, and erratically jealous. Also very worn-out-baseball-glove-looking.

Recap slideshow is after the jump (complete with reference to Parker Spitzer)!

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Worms And Gatorade

Snooki and Jwoww don't want them to cook and eat all the cute lobsters, so they attempt to save one by popping it into a bowl. Of fresh water. Snooki would like to feed it worms. Realizing the lobster should be in salt water instead, they allow the guidos to fry up "Charlie." When it comes time for their meal, the drink menu is pure Jersey Shore: Red Bull, Gatorade and champagne. It's a celebration of trash bags departure!

High School Drama

With the Staten Island Dump back in its rightful place on Staten Island, the Snooks/Jwoww combo decide to approach Sammi to be friends again. " I used to beat girls up like that in high school," says Jwoww, clearly ready for the friendship that is about to ensue. Sammi is conflicted: "What am I gonna do? Be up Ron’s ass all the time? I don’t want to do that." You don't? What if he specifically requests it?

Incomprehensibly, This Happened

Suddenly Vinny, the abject failure when it comes to approaching females who he has any interest in besides as a temporary penis containment center, has been talking to Ramona again. How is this possible? Could it be that this aspiring model may have realized she could get on a show that six million people watch? Or perhaps it's true love? They go to the beach.

Ramona, The Female Dos Equis Guy

Vinny asks where she's from. For those who haven't seen, here are Ramona's hints: it's in "middle eastern Europe" and "It’s like right over there." Good luck. "Ramona’s the most interesting girl that I’ve met here," says Vinny.

And Then This

The Situation is a wrinkled jealous irrational freak. Anyone else? "He’s a loser," says Ronnie. It begins with this. "It doesn’t matter how hot the chick is, I’m aggressive," says Sitch, while his chick of choice says "help me." She actually said that! The Situation is pissed because he got rejected all night. Now the only situation The Situation wants is to leave. He tries to convince Snooki. "She knows it’s what I do," he says. That's what you do? No, you try to find the first non-grenade who's DTF and ditch your friends for the smash room. "I get so pissed off because he’s pissing me off," says Snooki, pissed off.

Ryder Parker Spitzer

It just felt right this week. Anyway, Ryder is in town, and she is supposed to be sober. She is, of course, not. Instead, Snooki takes her DTFBFF out for some day-drinking that includes a giant Margarita with two Coronas sticking out of it.

The Dexteration

With the seven guidos/ettes out for the night, Ramona shows up to hang with Vinny. "Yo Vinny’s girl is looking smoking," says Sitch, as he hatches a foolproof plot. "Everybody knows I’m a pimp. You know that’s how it is man. My grandpappy was a pimp, his grandpappy was a pimp. I’m about to get to business right now." He tries to steal Ramona, and fails miserably. "Mike might have a secret possible obsession with me," says Vinny. And then it gets weird. Sitch is sitting in the corner, staring at the happy couple(ish), like he's about to become Guido Dexter. Enjoy your free Halloween costume idea.

The Situation is angry. Very very angry. He tries to make out with Snooki as a last ditch effort to quench his lustful longing for questionable ass, and she rejects him. "His main goal is to get girls, so when he doesn’t have girls, he’s a very very different person," says Snooki, who made a lot of sense this episode. "He’s mean and he just wants to go to bed." Upon rejection, Sitch slaps Snooki in the mouth, marking two consecutive episodes where a little person was in a fight with a person of regular size. "I’m the mother fucking daddy of this group," says Sitch, lying to himself and the camera. "I say what goes. And If I say we’re leaving we’re leaving." Pauly D throws Sitch under the bus, Snooki drops a lot of f-bombs and we leave with as close to a cliffhanger as Jersey Shore knows how to do...

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Jersey Shore, MTV, MTV's Jersey Shore, Snooki, The Situation

Greg

APNewsBreak: Johnson nets savings on prison labor
By SCOTT BAUER (AP) – 42 minutes ago
MADISON, Wis. — Records obtained by The Associated Press show that Republican Senate candidate Ron Johnson is saving money by employing prison inmates at his plastics factories.
Johnson’s two companies don’t have to pay for health care for the inmates. The state covers those costs. Johnson has campaigned against government subsidies to business.
Johnson is a political newcomer challenging Democratic U.S. Sen. Russ Feingold, and is running as a businessman who opposes government interference in the free market. Johnson’s campaign says the companies are trying to provide work skills for inmates, but Democrats say the subsidized jobs show Johnson is guilty of hypocrisy.