Everyone knows that Bo Obama is the First Dog, but The History Channel’s Life After People recently imagined what it would be like if he ended up being the last dog, too. In last night’s episode, the show examined the likely fate of the White House, among other world leaders’ domiciles, if all the people on Earth were suddenly wiped out.
Maybe it’s a case of “Old Yeller Syndrome” (which dictates that, in movies, it’s much worse to kill a dog than a human), but the producers predict a far-too-rosy fate for Bo. Read no further if you cherish their delusion.
Here’s the clip where they introduce Bo to the post-apocalyptic White House:
The show goes on to explain that, once free of the White House grounds, Bo would use his water dog instincts to live out his days on a diet of fresh sushi.
The first problem is, how is he supposed to get out of the White House gates? Unless the Salahis left him a trail of breadcrumbs, Bo will be tasked with getting out of a place that’s as secure as any in the world. His only real shot would be to wait until he got skinny enough to squeeze through the bars of the fence that surrounds the grounds.
Then, assuming Bo manages to evade the zombies, or Demon Sheep, or whatever wiped out all the people, he faces another near-impossible challenge. You see, when Bo goes too long between groomings, the fur around his eyes makes it very hard for him to see. By the time he got skinny enough to shimmy through the White House gates, he wouldn’t be able to see where he was going, or what was going after him.
Of course, I’m as susceptible to “Old Yeller Syndrome” as the next guy, so I am going to assume that before being disintegrated by Demon Sheep, the White House staff managed to fling open the walk-in refrigerators, giving Bo access to a lifetime supply of leftover Wagyu beef kebabs and whatnot. The end.
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