‘We Gotta Dump This Loser’: Stephen Colbert Delivers Last Plea Before Election Day
Stephen Colbert made a final plea to viewers on Election Day eve — begging them to “dump” “loser” President Donald Trump on November 3.
“This is the most high-stakes election of my lifetime — and I include when Ruben Studdard beat Clay Aiken,” Colbert joked, referring to a tense American Idol finale.
Despite the big day, the host claimed he was the most relaxed he’d been in months on Monday night. Why? “Because at 11:38 the night before the election, what ya gonna do?” said Colbert. “I think we can officially say we’ve given Donald Trump a chance. Jared, you have 22 minutes to achieve Middle East peace.”
“You see, I think everyone has made up their mind—back in 2017, in fact. Have you seen Trump’s approval numbers? That’s flatter than the Black Rock Desert. You could set a land-speed record on 44 percent,” he added.
“So, to quote Jim Lovell from Apollo 13, ‘Isaac Newton is in the driver’s seat now.’ We are in the grip of the gravitational forces of democracy, which are pulling us toward the results. It’s like our country is a deep-space object falling toward a black hole—either we’re going to get sucked over the event horizon into a well of corruption that not even moats can escape from, or we’ll use this gravity well to slingshot and pick up speed and go off in an entirely new direction. Maybe that planet where Baby Yoda lives, he’s cute.”
Colbert reminded his viewers that America is at stake during this election — pointing out that the president has exposed several weaknesses in the U.S. government.
The host later ran through a long list of the most shocking things the president has been saying throughout the months leading up to Election Day — focusing on Trump’s attempt to question the validity of this election.
“We gotta dump this loser,” Colbert concluded, delivering his last message before Election Day.
Watch above, via YouTube.
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