‘Tis the season, Jon Stewart acknowledged today, as he caught the coverage on Fox News of Rhode Island governor “and part-time Steve Doocy impersonator” Lincoln Chafee referred to the plant one fills with lights and ornaments in December as a “holiday tree.” But this year, Stewart wasn’t going to take the Christmas assault lying down, instead opting to declare war on the holiday.

On Wednesday, Justin Bieber released the video for his duet with Mariah Carey, a remake of Carey’s suddenly-classic “All I Want For Christmas Is You.” The song, released in November 1994 — just eight months after Bieber was born — didn’t really need an update, especially one with laughably blatant Nintendo 3DS product placement. But, somebody, somewhere thought it would make money (and that Michael Buble’s versionwasn’t enough), and it was unleashed on the world.

Justin Bieber is the first male singer to ever debut a Christmas album at No. 1 on the Billboard charts. So it stood to reason that, during a marathon appearance on Wednesday’s Today show, he’d be crooning some hits from “Under the Mistletoe.” But during Bieber’s final song, a Jackson 5-inspired twist on “Santa Claus is Coming To Town,” he seemed to forget some lines to the holiday classic.

In the past week, both Justin Bieber and Herman Cain have done something many people faced with scandal usually refuse to partake in — paternity and lie detector tests that would refute the claims of their accusers. In Bieber’s case, he has been accused of getting a woman pregnant when he was 16. In Cain’s case, he is accused of making sexual advances towards a woman about a decade ago.

Surrounded by throngs of screaming fans, Matt Lauer confronted teen heartthrob Justin Bieber on the Today Show this morning and interrogated the singer about the paternity lawsuit being made against him. “There is a lot of good that comes with celebrity, you know that. there is also a pretty white-hot spotlight and you found yourself under it recently, someone is filing a paternity suit saying you’re the father of her three-month-old son, what do you say about that?”

As Justin Bieber, the pop confection who made “Blagojevich hair” look cool, inches ever so close to adulthood, he will yearn to participate in that sort of depraved activity that leaves most adults who indulge it morally bankrupt: politics. And as he discovers this political identity within him, he will begin to say polarizing things like “I don’t really believe in abortion” and “there are some senators who should really be in jail.” This time, Bieber is in hot water for expressing the latter sentiment– against, of all people, Minnesota Senator Amy Klobuchar.

I’ve got Klout and I know how to use it. I apply it directly to my armpits. Sometimes I read it or listen to it or wear it. Some people can drive it or drink it. Hopefully not at the same time.

I’m talking about Klout Perks, the next step from the folks at the social media ranking site, Klout. While Klout Perks have been around for over a year, it seems the program has really picked up momentum lately. These days my Twitter stream is filled with people tweeting their latest perk. I joined Klout on a whim and rarely looked at the site after that, so I was surprised the first time I received a tweet from @KloutPerks notifying me I was eligible for a perk. I almost dismissed it as Twitter spam; along the lines of a free iPad or Walmart gift card. It wasn’t until I saw others tweeting about their Klout Perks that I caught on that it was an actual thing. And it is a good thing.

The buzzword of Tuesday wasn’t a word at all — it was a collection of numbers and punctuation marks; more specifically: “s.978.” The measure, which is expected to be brought to Congress today, essentially extends felony charges for bootlegging DVDs and music albums into the 21st century, making it a felony to illegally stream copywritten material. The bill was introduced by Minnesota Senator Amy Klobuchar. It was then fully misinterpreted and brought to new heights by the people behind FreeBieber.com, who caused a minor panic by starting a petition to thwart the bill, saying that Justin Bieber, who rose to fame covering songs on YouTube, could be sent to jail for five years.

Dana Loesch, CNN contributor and editor-in-chief of Big Journalism, has been sharpening her Tea Party cred against a Mitt Romney grindstone, bashing the candidate as an “unrepentant RINO (Republican In Name Only)” whom she “was against” in the last election, and this election. So great is her animus for Romney that she gets entire “mailbags of hate” from his supporters. The only problem is, Loesch voted for Romney in 2008, and the internet has the proof. This is the Tea Party equivalent of being in a mosh pit, and having a Justin Bieber CD fall out of your pocket.

Pop star Justin Bieber might have the ability to drive pre-teens into a shrieking hormonal frenzy, but when it comes to selling magazines, The Biebs (as we refer to him around the office) simply doesn’t cut it.

Vanity Fair, taking a break from its tried and true formula of featuring flaxen-haired starlets in pin-up poses on its cover, made Bieber its February cover model. And, in this case at least, it hasn’t quite paid off.

While political opponents may blast President Barack Obama for not keeping his campaign promises, he made good on at least one vow he’s taken while in office today: introducing 14-year-old Payton Wall to her hero, pop sensation Justin Bieber. Wall, who lost her father in the September 11th attack on the World Trade Center, told the president she used Bieber’s music to cope with the pain, and how much it would mean for her to meet him.

Singer and perfumer Justin Bieber was tackled and knocked to the ground this afternoon by a man who jumped a barricade outside a New York City Macy’s. The teen pop star was visiting the store to promote his new fragrance, “Someday.”

Bieber fought back against the man. He was startled, but is reportedly uninjured and was able to return to his promoting duties. His attacker was given a summons for disorderly conduct.

Director Liz Garbus‘ new film Bobby Fischer Against The World (premiering tonight at 9pm EDT on HBO) is a documentary about chess. If that sounds like a tough sell, try being in the meeting where you pitch Rocky IV meets Heart of Darkness on a chess board in the seventies. While the film is an engrossing, suspenseful look at Bobby Fischer and his iconic match with Russian champ Boris Spassky, the film also explores a media backdrop as quaint and alien as a bed & breakfast on Tatooine.

Here’s a strange moment. Last night on Anderson Cooper 360, a news story was interrupted by a strange off-topic photo of a little boy in a bizarre wig and a flashy outfit. Viewers at home were likely quite confused but not nearly as much as Anderson Cooper who recognized the picture as a decades-old shot of himself at age nine. It turns out the producers were having a little prank on him which is all well and good but, I have to say, it’s really not cool that they distracted from an actual news story to- What’s that? It was actually a story about Justin Bieber? Oh, ok then.

Now that the greatest villain of this generation has finally been put to rest, President Obama can go back to the things that really drive up polls numbers: making childrens’ dreams come true. After the tweets of a young woman who lost her father on 9/11 to Justin Bieber fell on deaf ears, 14-year-old Payton Wall decided to ask the President for help. And after giving her a “bear hug” last Thursday, he promised to deliver.

Washington, DC is often referred to as “Hollywood for ugly people,” but in recent years, the town has enjoyed one night of the year when it blossoms into a Hollywood swan: The White House Correspondents Dinner, aka “Nerdprom.” As the dinner’s profile has risen, so has the demand for tickets to see, and be seen, at an event that is ostensibly a celebration of DC’s least glamorous denizens. Even as this year’s Seth Meyers-headlined fete has had to compete with the Royal Wedding, the clamor to get in has reached an all-time zenith.

Dylan Ratigan, it appears, is not a Belieber. The MSNBC host delivered a comically Abe Simpson-esque rebuke of pop sensation Justin Bieber, complete with old-guy explanation of whippersnapper slang. Bieber had the unmitigated gall to tweet about how the press and the paparazzi were cramping his Israel vacay, prompting Ratigan to put it all into perspective for Biebs.

A week after the revelry and serious business that is the Conservative Political Action Conference, the crew of Red Eye took a look back at their visit to Washington and their talks with attendees. Talking politics, of course, was paramount, but they still had time to ponder the goings-on at the public bathrooms, what they would say to Justin Bieber should they meet, and to reminiscine about how their night out seems to have rendered a number of the women of CPAC mute.

The controversial abortion comments from young pop superstar Justin Bieber continue to reverberate as Rolling Stone attempts to clarify the statement and now with the ladies of The View weighing in too. Given Bieber’s pro-life stance, it might not be surprising that liberal Joy Behar and conservative Elisabeth Hasselbeck disagreed over the appropriateness of his comments.

The issue has yet to hit newsstands, but Rolling Stone‘s interview with teen pop star Justin Bieber has already created a sensation – and at least a bit of a confusion – online ever since it was revealed that the magazine asked the sixteen-year-old about his thoughts on abortion. As it turns out, the online version of the interview edited the content of Bieber’s original response, slightly altering the tone of his thoughts.

Young singing superstar Justin Bieber opined on some very adult topics in the new edition of Rolling Stone, providing his thoughts on everything from abortion to sex and politics. After also having his songs featured on this week’s episode of the Fox hit Glee, being all over the Grammy Awards and doing impressions of presidents, is there anything the 16 year-old Canadian kid can’t do?

Following a disappointing evening at the Grammy Awards Sunday night, teen pop sensation Justin Bieber stopped by the studies of Conan O’Brien for the standard talk show fare. A rather unremarkable segment turned suddenly interesting as Bieber retold his visit to Oval Office, where in he did his best President Obama impersonation. Social anthropologists could [...]

Of course SNL host Dana Carvey was going to bring back his iconic (Right? We can call it iconic at this point, no?) “Church Lady” character. This time, the Church Lady found herself face-to-Jägermeister-soaked-poof with Jersey Shore‘s Snooki, whom she attempted to exorcise with the help of a priest. Was the exorcism successful? MTV executives best hope not.

Then, celebrated singing fetus Justin Bieber visited with… uncomfortable results.

The Golden Globes are tonight, and not only do they kick off the award season, but they are usually the most fun to watch because the participants are alleged to imbibe during the proceedings. Well things stated off on the bawdy side during pre-show festivities, when Justin Bieber was alleged to have gone for the old “bum touch” by red carpet reporter Alexa Chung. Yes, it seems Bieber grabbed her ass. They grow up so fast.

After launching an all-out boycott campaign against the bite-sized Canadian crooner over fictitious remarks he made supporting the construction of the Park51 Islamic Center project, opponents of the so-called “Ground Zero Mosque” have now extended an apology to Justin Bieber, but promise their campaign will continue in full gear.