The Officially Unofficial Mediate Presidential Debate Drinking Game: Round 1

 
man with beer

Photo by George Marks/Retrofile/Getty Images.

Well, dear readers, here we are. We’ve survived nearly ten months of probably one of the weirdest years in any of our lifetimes — a global pandemic, murder hornets and toxic giant toads, Tiger King, so many hurricanes we ran out of names, and even a Vin Diesel pop single — to find ourselves counting down the minutes to the first presidential debate between President Donald Trump and former Vice President Joe Biden. You can watch all the shenanigans live with us here.

If the insanity of a bitterly fought presidential election tossed in with all the other lunacy of 2020 isn’t driving you to drink, well, you’re a better person than we are. So, without further ado, here’s The Officially Unofficial* Mediaite Presidential Debate Drinking Game — Round One.

Take a drink:

  • Either candidate mispronounces a word or gets lost in the middle of a sentence
  • Trump calls Biden “Sleepy Joe” or Hillary Clinton “Crooked Hillary”
  • Biden says “Come on, man!” or “Malarkey!”
  • Moderator Chris Wallace interrupts with a fact-check
  • Biden tells a rambling anecdote about someone he knows with a unique nickname like “CornPop”
  • Trump mentions “fake news” or “the failing New York Times
  • Biden says “folks”
  • Trump says “yuge” or “bigly”
  • Trump brags about the economy
  • Biden brags about something former President Barack Obama’s administration did
  • Trump accuses anyone named Obama, Clinton, or Biden of treason
  • Biden accuses Trump of tax fraud
  • And stand and salute if either candidate starts an answer by saying that they love the military or veterans
  • Either candidate accuses any of the other’s children of corruption
  • Biden says “Kamala” or Trump mispronounces it
  • Trump refers to “Joe Biden’s America”
  • Biden refers to “Donald Trump’s America”
  • Trump refers to the “China virus,” “Wuhan virus,” or “China flu”
  • Biden uses some kind of old-timey phrase
  • Trump makes an argument with “people are saying…” or “I heard…” etc.
  • Biden scrunches up his eyebrows and frowns because he cares so much, man
  • Trump brags about being nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize
  • Take two drinks if Biden responds by mentioning that Obama actually won one in 2009
  • Hillary tweets something snarky in response to the debate
  • Trump praises an authoritarian dictator
  • Biden praises someone that no one watching has heard of

Take a shot:

  • And yell “Notorious!” if anyone mentions Ruth Bader Ginsburg
  • And yell “Honor her wish!” or “Fill the seat!” depending on your partisan allegiances if anyone mentions Amy Coney Barrett 
  • And yell “За здоровье!” (pronounced “Na Zdorovie,” “cheers” in Russian) whenever Russia or Vladimir Putin are mentioned
  • Wallace loses all control of the debate as the candidates devolve into a shouting match
  • Biden calls someone by the wrong name
  • Anyone brings up Jeffery Epstein or Ghislaine Maxwell
  • Either candidate directly calls the other a “liar”
  • Trump accuses Biden of being controlled by Bernie Sanders or AOC
  • Biden accuses Trump of being controlled by Russia

Finish your drink if:

  • Either candidate drops a curse word on live television
  • Biden directly calls Trump a “racist”
  • Trump demands Biden take a drug test
  • Biden challenges Trump to arm wrestle, a push-up contest, or any other physical competition

*Disclaimer: This post is solely the opinion of the author and is for entertainment purposes only. Drink responsibly. Seriously, don’t actually attempt this drinking game. The debate is going to be wild enough.

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