Washington Post Reporter Makes Absurd Parody Take About Trump and Biden Come Soul-Crushingly to Life

Tommy ChristopherMay 25th, 2021, 12:17 pm
 
MONACA, PA - NOVEMBER 02: Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden takes off his sunglasses while speaking at a campaign stop at Community College of Beaver County on November 02, 2020 in Monaca, Pennsylvania. One day before the election, Biden is campaigning in Pennsylvania, a key battleground state that President Donald Trump won narrowly in 2016. (Photo by Drew Angerer/Getty Images)

Drew Angerer/Getty Images

The Washington Post‘s Ashley Parker outdid one of the most effective parodists of D.C. “both-sides” journalism with an absurd line in her recent deep dive on President Joe Biden’s daily schedule.

As much as people complain about conservative outlets, the post-Trump coverage by ostensibly neutral outlets has been, in many ways, even more deranged — a never-ending search for ways to fill the content hole created by the removal of the Former Guy and his chaotic click-friendly clown show, and replacement with a president who doesn’t incite pipe bomb attacks and racist mass murder and deadly insurrection.

This thirsty genre takes on many forms, but in a recent article on President Biden’s schedule, Parker elevated the “both-sides” variety to Jedi-level skill with a single dazzling paragraph. After describing the now-novel concept of a president keeping to a schedule, Parker delivered this comparison to Trump (emphasis added):

It marks a sharp contrast with former president Donald Trump, whose days often ran both early and late with tweets that were frequently angry or inflammatory, and whose time was often consumed by rambling rallies, spontaneous calls to TV hosts and random, unscripted activities. Depending on the viewpoint, Biden has restored routine and order to the White House — or removed the freewheeling passion.

This description of Biden is belied by observable phenomena like his recent unscheduled taco run, during which he trashlimented Philly fans as informed and obnoxious, or his frequent spontaneous interactions with Fox News’ Peter Doocy, to name a few. But the point was less about Biden than finding a way to say something stupid about Trump.

The phrase drew some mockery on blue-check Twitter, but not nearly enough, if you ask me.

But the kicker is that the “New York Times Pitchbot” account — devoted to parodying the worst takes from mainstream political reporters and commentators — predicted this take a week earlier with frightening precision.

On May 15, the account’s author — longtime Balloon Juice writer Doug J. — wrote “Biden’s tightly scripted White House has many in Washington yearning for Trump’s free-wheeling ways.”

And it wasn’t just the one line, Parker’s article is peppered with descriptors of Biden’s schedule — like “the extreme scripting and almost surreal regimentation” and a note about early “lids” being declared — that are at odds with reality and her own reporting. Most of the piece is actually devoted to anecdotes that include many spontaneous interactions, many of which are explicitly driven by Biden’s emotions.

If you took out the reference to Trump and the false assertions about strict regimentation, the article would almost read like a fan page. He loves his family, he goes to church all the time, he answers letters from the real people and meets with them, and here are the swell details about his favorite foods!

There are many cynics who believe that this never-ending search for drama and conflict are an indication that the DC press really do miss Trump and his content-friendly ways, violent consequences notwithstanding. Indeed, some have even said as much.

But there’s also a persuasive case to be made that some reporters feel the need to include these concocted premises as a hedge against the accusation that they’re “in the tank” for Biden.

Unfortunately for them, the people most likely to make that charge are going to do it no matter what, but doing this will alienate people who might otherwise find them credible.

 

This is an opinion piece. The views expressed in this article are those of just the author.

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