Colbert Mocks Tucker Carlson For ‘Sex-Crazed’ Pandas Report: He ‘Stole My Bit!’

Stephen Colbert took a moment to blast Fox News host Tucker Carlson for dedicating a segment of his show to pandas after the breaking news of the FBI raiding the home and offices of Trump lawyer Michael Cohen.

On Monday night, Carlson closed his show by talking about “sex-crazed” pandas that are so vicious they have a “taste for flesh” and how they’re not as close to extinction as many have assumed.

Well, The Late Show host had some fun at his expense.

Colbert began by stressing the seriousness of the raids that were conducted on Michael Cohen and mocked Carlson’s lack of urgency to cover it.

“Thank God that Tucker is covering what historians will call ‘The Panda-monium,'” Colbert quipped.

He said the Fox News host “didn’t have time” to cover the Michael Cohen raid because of his “very in-depth report on pandas.” Although to be fair, Carlson did talk about the raid, but it was while he was criticizing CNN for cutting away from U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations Nikki Haley, who was addressing the crisis in Syria, to “the Stormy Daniels story.”

“Did you know with their massive size and strength, if they broke into your house hopped up on meth, blue whales can easily murder your family?” Colbert lampooned Carlson. “Luckily for you, they’re too busy being whales… for now.”

Colbert called the segment “insane,” especially because it was “literally something [he] did” on The Colbert Report when he played “an insane person.” He then showed a clip from 2011 of himself addressing how China has been using pandas’ “cuteness” to “infiltrate our hearts” but that they’re still “godless killing machines.”

“Tucker Carlson stole my bit!” Colbert exclaimed. “He also stole acting incredibly stupid while wearing an ill-fitting suit!”

Watch the clip above, via CBS.

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