Stephen Colbert Tears Into Matt Gaetz’s Failed Pardon: The Blanket Doesn’t Want a Pardon. ‘It Wants to be Burned, It’s Seen Too Much.’

Stephen Colbert tore into Rep. Matt Gaetz (R-FL) on Wednesday night for allegedly seeking — and failing to gain — clemency from Donald Trump in the final weeks of his presidency.

Gaetz has found himself in hot water recently, as exactly a week before the New York Times broke the news of the alleged pre-emptive blanket pardon, they revealed that the Department of Justice is investigating the representative over a possible relationship with a 17-year-old girl.

“Gaetz has denied any wrongdoing, but sources say that just before the previous president left office, Gaetz asked for a blanket pardon,” Colbert said on Wednesday’s Late Show. “Oh, I don’t think the blanket wants a pardon; I think it wants to be burned — it’s seen too much.”

Addressing Gaetz’s close relationship with Trump, Colbert noted that the congressman boasted about the friendship in his latest book — claiming to have received calls from the president while “on the throne, on airplanes, and in the club.”

“The president has called me everywhere: while I was lurking in the bushes outside of a high school, while I was making fake IDs, even while I was tutoring my girlfriend for the SATs,’” Colbert quipped, impersonating the representative.

“Gaetz says the president called him ‘even in the throes of passion (yes, I answered),’” the host continued. “Thinking about Matt Gaetz having sex, I’m in the throes of up.”

Trump apparently denied Gaetz the pardon because his lawyers thought it would set a “bad precedent.”

“Do you know how shady you have to be for Number 45’s lawyers to go, ‘No, that’s a bad look. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I just farted on camera, my head is leaking, and I’m late for my press conference outside the crematorium dildo shop,’” cracked the late-night host, gleefully mocking Rudy Giuliani in the process.

The host later addressed the news that Gaetz’s will be speaking at an event hosted by Women for America First.

“You could say that’s putting the fox in the henhouse, but Gaetz would rather hang out with the eggs,” he cracked, later adding, “The group has received a lot of criticism for booking Gaetz, but they defended the decision and called Gaetz a ‘fearless leader in D.C.’ Yes, Gaetz fears nothing, except the parents of whoever he’s texting.”

Watch above, via YouTube.

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