Fox News Viewer
No other media entity is more in the news right now than Fox News, and no other costume is surer to earn you high fives or scorn (depending on the sort of Halloween party you intend). So how does one dress up as a Fox News viewer? Well it helps you are a white male, since the FNC viewer base skews white and male. But a Fox News viewer likes to consider themselves as powerful and informed. And what better way to demonstrate that than by demonstrating that you haven’t missed a meal? Maybe stuff a pillow under your shirt. Earn extra credit by memorizing some Fox News personality talking points — or just go around addressing your fellow partygoers as either pinheads or patriots.
There was a time when watching MSNBC was in vogue (see also: Bush Administration), but alas, the MSNBC viewership is a vanishing populace. If you are interested in dressing up as an MSNBC viewer, there are a few cliched accouterments that will serve you well: a pair of Birkenstocks is a good place to start, and should go nicely with your sensible LL Bean attire. Recyclable shopping bags from Whole Foods are a nice touch, but the coup de grace would be arriving to your party in a Toyota Prius. Warning — to really pull this off we suggest reeking of marijuana, but we advise that you only attempt that part of the costume in states where medical marijuana is legal. Though not quite as effective, patchouli is an effective substitute if you do not want to go to jail.
For those who may not know, CNN stands for “Cable News Network,” and there was a time, not that long ago, where one wouldn’t need to explain what CNN was. It is also a cable news channel. and the costume for viewers of this network needs to reflect that they are thought be some to be mythical — like the Loch Ness Monster, Big Foot, or maybe the Yeti. But we feel the costume that best illustrates that you are a CNN viewer is to simply cut a few holes out of a white sheet and throw it over your head (see also Ghost costume), because its not exactly clear who a CNN viewer even is these days.
Bad Idea: Roger Sterling in Blackface
Those of you paying especially close attention to Mediaite know that we’ve covered the disturbing reemergence of blackface in popular discourse. Some may think that showing up as Mad Men character Roger Sterling in blackface would be a funny, and ironically detached costume idea. We would like to remind readers of this article that despite the critical raves and vast amount of media discussion of AMC’s Mad Men, a very, very small percentage of the country actually watch the show. So — do not wear black face, even if you are trying to portray the racially insensitive Mad Men character. Even if you are sure that everyone at your party will “get” the joke, know that you still have to get to and from the party. You will either grow very tired of explaining your costume, or you may not get the chance. We repeat: we DO NOT Advise you to wear this costume or any variation of it, and that includes the cover of the last French Vogue, that Australian skit about the Jackson 5, 1993 Ted Danson, etc.
Have a tip we should know? [email protected]