Jersey Shore Episode 4 Recap: Do Not Test Ronnie Because He Will Fail

slideshow

by Steve Krakauer | 12:33 pm, August 20th, 2010

» 6 comments

Before this season we speculated that the only way it was possible for Jersey Shore to remain great is if the cast remained self-aware. After four episodes, the stars of season two seem to be the ones who still aren’t playing for the cameras.

Ronnie and Sammi are in Guido Guiding Light and Angelina‘s repulsiveness has kept her at the forefront – this week displaying this repulsiveness quite literally by farting in Snooki‘s face. With that in mind, let’s recap episode four (in slideshow-form).

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Emilio Is In The IFF

Snooki's boyfriend Emilio calls her and admits to sleeping with some other girl. When Snooki gets mad, he says he's joking. Funny! Also, wasn't the last episode set up to make us think Snooki slept with Vinny? Anyway, Snooki gets philosophical about the whole experience: "Guys are douchebags and I hate them all. They don’t know how to deal with women, and I feel that's why the lesbian rate is going up in this country." Look out ladies!

The Vagina(l Infection) Monologues

Snooki now has a new term: "It’s a big ball of fuckness." Gathering her girls in the confessional room, they yell in unison, "Fuck guys!" Double entendres abound.

The Line Of The Season...

...at least so far. Ronnie, when told by Sammi that she was testing him: "I don't like tests. That's why I didn’t go to college. Don't test me. Cause I will fail the majority of the time." Say what you want about Ronnie, at least he's honest. Maybe he can give Roger Clemens some advice.

The Last Supper...Before "Sexy Clothes"

Immediately after this moment, the houseguests gather to play a game of questions. Snooki sums it up: "Let’s put sexy clothes on and be fucking dumb asses." Instantly MTV execs agree on a season three tagline.

What Exactly Did Ronnie Do Again, Jwoww?

Do the girls tell Sammi about Ronnie's cheating? They discuss. Wait, Jwoww, what was that cheating exactly? "He made out with two girls at B.E.D., he motorboated another girl at B.E.D., he got a girl's number at Clutch after he sent Sam home crying." Oh right.

I'm Done...

Two quotes from Sammi: "I’m done, I’m done, I’m done." Also: "It's over, and I'm ok with it."

...I'm Not Done

"You want to be like that, fuck you, I’ll leave you in the middle of the street, chasing a cab," says Ronnie. Aw. Sammi takes care of Ronnie when he's very drunk. It's love, people, don't you see what's happening?

Where Is Ronnie's Hand?

I don't know, but according to Sammi, "I'm hurting, but I’m happier with Ron than not with Ron." YEAH you are.

Vinny Has Goals

They work at a gelato shop remember? "When I go home I’m going to work at an ice cream parlor because that’s how I pick up all the girls," says Vinny. Good luck Vinny! Unfortunately, not all girls are so easy to pick up. Some are in, gasp, grad school. Vinny: "I don’t want girls studying for finals, I want girls studying for cock."

A Series Of Tubes

In this homage to the late Sen. Ted Stevens, Snooki and Jwoww navigate a series of tubes. They write a secret letter to Sammi to let her know about Ronnie's wandering (and curiously wide-open) eye. This is one of the very well-put-together phrases that don't sound at all like the way Snooki or Jwoww talk: "...and put his head in between a cocktail waitresses breasts. Also was grinding with multiple women." The letter has been delivered. What will happen next week? Sammi will probably say I'm done. But she will not be done.

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Jersey Shore, MTV's Jersey Shore, Snooki, The Situation

More Liberty

Mean while, Marines and soldiers are fighting in Afghanistan and Iraq.
Big Eddie

All right ,you mugs . This is why Big Eddie don’t go to Jersey .
BatBoy

Was this show their season finale….I hope!!!!!
http://www.facebook.com/people/Erika-Templeton/922915 Erika Templeton

bring back the sans photo recaps!
lonestar77

Steve:
I can’t believe you never corrected you statement about Palin being a big fan of dropping “n” bombs. That’s absurd. Again, please don’t turn into the crackpots you work with. You’re the only journalist at this site with an ounce of fairness.
redleaf

You realize not one of these Jersey Shore recaps has gotten more than 6 comments.

Why are you going far afield of the political and media landscape turf to cover some low rent reality show? Is that really increasing the value of the site?