1. Mediaite
  2. Gossip Cop
  3. Geekosystem
  4. Styleite
  5. SportsGrid
  6. The Mary Sue
  7. The Jane Dough
  8. The Braiser
Advertisement

Janet Napolitano Asks for Patience, Cooperation While TSA ‘Touches Your Junk’

» 19 comments

In an editorial for USA Today, Department of Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano defended new airport security measures, just as pat-downs have come under attack via a viral video of a man refusing to have his “junk” (or his John Pistole, if you will) touched by TSA officers. Napolitano assured travelers that the new Advanced Imaging Technology (AIT) units are safe and secure, and described pat-down measures for those who refuse AIT scans. According to Matt Drudge, this means “The Terrorists Have Won!”

To follow up, Napolitano also held a press conference this morning to answer questions about the policies. Video after the jump.

Here’s a clip of the press conference, in which Napolitano underscores much of what’s in her USA Today piece:


Like Napolitano's approach to airline security, this is an issue with multiple layers. For the Dr. McCoy in all of us, she wants us to know that the AIT machines won't scramble our molecules:

AIT machines are safe, efficient, and protect passenger privacy. They have been independently evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration, the National Institute of Standards and Technology, and the Johns Hopkins University Applied Physics Laboratory, who have all affirmed their safety.

Of course, the main objection to AIT is not that it might sap your life essence, but that there might be some vast black market for doughy Predator-vision porn:

Rigorous privacy safeguards are also in place to protect the traveling public. All images generated by imaging technology are viewed in a walled-off location not visible to the public. The officer assisting the passenger never sees the image, and the officer viewing the image never interacts with the passenger. The imaging technology that we use cannot store, export, print or transmit images.

See? There’s nothing perverted about it. The guy who’s looking at your simulated nude figure is walled off in total privacy. Wonder what that job interview looks like.

If you don’t want to participate in the AIT peepshow, then you get the pat-down, complete with your own optional wingman:

Pat-downs have long been one of the many security measures used by the U.S. and countries across the world to make air travel as secure as possible. They’re conducted by same-gender officers, and all passengers have the right to request private screening and have a traveling companion present during the screening process.

None of this is particularly pleasant, and by themselves, these measures don’t provide real security, but when your preferred mode of transportation doubles as a giant missile, is there a degree to which you should not harden the target? Yes, as Hot Air’s Ed Morrissey suggests, it would be great if we could train every TSA officer to be just like the Mossad, but that’s not very realistic.

Intelligence is still our best defense against terrorism, and we’re getting better at it, but that doesn’t mean we should relax our screening procedures, or succumb to the reptilian temptation to profile. As undiebomber demonstrated, that profile is always shifting, and anyone who watches The Ev3nt can tell you, there are ways to compromise anyone, maybe even Grandma.

Even if the art of airline security improves to such a degree that the threat is completely neutralized, we’ve still got trains and automobiles to worry about. Until then, though, the balancing act between individual privacy and collective security will continue to play out. While pseudo-nekkid body scans and pat-downs are a slippery slope, applying those measure selectively offers a slide of a different kind.

Follow us on Twitter.

Sign up for Mediaite's daily newsletter.

Email Twitter Facebook Digg Reddit Stumble Upon Yahoo Buzz LinkedIn Tumblr Delicious
  • Ricia

    Jeeeze, don’t I get dinner and cocktails first????

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jon-Martin/43100610 Jon Martin

    I’m not flying until these naked scanners are gone.. and I’m not having some stranger feel me up either. What a great job for a pedophile to apply for, feeling up people at the airport.

  • bealzebubba

    Terrorists were winning every time the news announced the terror threat level had gone up a notch. What does Curry and Dvorak call us?

    Oh yeah, Slaves.

  • playswithknives

    i don’t have a dog in this fight just yet, because i don’t have aby reason to fly for the next year. i really hope this is dealt with by then. there’s an article floating around about the ‘israelification’ of us airports. 30 minutes from front door to the gate – and israel has had exactly one breach of security in almost 20 years with none of the foolishness we have to deal with.

  • http://mk-cultra.org fnordlord

    Does the TSA have DADT?

  • Labaliente Foosallent

    No one at TSA thinks any of this keeps any one safe. They laugh about it on their cigarette breaks, if they don’t have a detained passenger to kick unconscious.

    TSA psychpaths grab gonads because they love humiliating people and because, for them, grabbing at a stranger’s genitals is the closest any will come to having sex.

    All TSA agents are subhuman freaks who live in a state of deranged dysphoria and quaking self-hatred. Yes, they know they are witless, contemptible, unemployable scum. Yes, they will never be able to enjoy the homosexual sex for which they hunger.

    So they take it out on the world, lunging at the testicles the TSA men long to caress and stroking the quivering breasts that the TSA bull dykes hunger to suckle.

    FACT: the TSA is a criminally insane cult of self-loathing homosexual psychopaths bent on savaging the lives of everyone in America who regard them as subhuman freaks and refuse to have sex with them.

    If they touch any adult, they do it to inflict maximal humiliation and penetration of personal space. They get off on repulsing you while you are helpless. They love groping mens’ wives while the husbands smolder in helpless rage. In this scenario, they are raping BOTH man and wife. Yeah, right, does anyone think that any freaks capable of this kind of horror should be at large – much less collecting a wage paid for by the tax payers they victimize?

    If they touch any child, it is for a pederast thrill.

    If they touch any elderly or disabled person, it is to terrorize and humiliate the helpless. Yes, they get off on torture, inflicted as revenge against a society that regards them rightfully as witless, slack-jawed freaks worthy only of cleaning toilets with their tongues

    Disband the TSA and put all its employees on sex crime registries. Americans need to know where these people are and who they may be stalking.

  • hello11

    I love this , So does My boyfriend.he is almost 11 years older than me.i met him on a hot place.
    *Agelessbbw*.*com*. A’ ge is not a problem, It gives you a chance to meet your a’ ge g a’p matches. Maybe you wanna check it out or tell your friends
    qewqeq24

  • Labaliente Foosallent

    Big Sis is just crazed with hunger to stroke the labia of terrorized lady passengers, you just know it. No reason for her to deny this pleasure to her fellow bull dykes at the TSA.

  • http://www.karlspensen.blogspot.com Karl Spensen

    WOW!!!!!!!!111 You truly do our Movement PROUD, Labaliente!!!!!!!!!111

  • Rescuedog

    I will not put my child through one of those screening machines. And if a sweaty mouth-breathing TSA agent touches my son’s crotch, even through his pants, I will be tempted to kick that person’s teeth out. Any other parent should do the same. Don’t give in to this institutionalized harassment. Fight it.

    Don’t forget, November 24 is National Opt Out Day. The purpose is to cause maximum (peaceful) chaos in the airline security system as a protest to these intrusive screenings. Maybe then Napolitano will start listening.

    http://www.optoutday.com/

  • Pablo

    See? There’s nothing perverted about it. The guy who’s looking at your simulated nude figure is walled off in total privacy. Wonder what that job interview looks like.

    I’d like to see what’s in the trash can at the end of the shift. But I don’t want to touch it.

  • sasha

    Such stupid stupid…..crap….I won’t fly and get that radiation and I won’t get felt up….I guess I’ll have to start driving everywhere. This is just plain stupid….another great idea spend people’s money. I’m assuming this is coming out of our tax dollars. Another con job…..I feel for all those people that have to fly weekly and get all that radiation exposure. Is the government just plain crazy????

  • Snidely

    If you put up with this, what impositions will you NOT allow? All in the name of safety, of course. Can’t take any chances! Big Sis knows best! BS. These people need to be reined in, and if that requires giving up an added layer of “security”, let it be so. There is a theory in the loss of liberty, called the “salami” theory. As each slice of the salami of liberty is taken away, each slice is not enough to fight over. Eventually there is nothing left to fight over.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Harry-Johnson/1784272038 Harry Johnson

    yeah really atleast take me out to dinner or something mayb call me the next day its B.S this is y i dont fly next they want us to fly naked i understand scanning our bags but really grabing my junk y dont we put sky marshals on plans 1 good way 2 make jobs

  • http://none pyrope

    She was asked whether Muslims would have to undergo the pat downs. Her 3 paragraph response had everything in it but a “yes” or a “no.”

  • http://none pyrope

    sasha said:
    I won’t fly and get that radiation and I won’t get felt up….I guess I’ll have to start driving everywhere.

    So, I guess Paris is not on your itenerary.

    Mine, neither.

  • http://none pyrope

    Labaliente Foosallent said:
    No one at TSA thinks any of this keeps any one safe. They laugh about it on their cigarette breaks, if they don’t have a detained passenger to kick unconscious.

    The take-away on this is to remember the folks we meet when we’re boarding planes didn’t make this crap up. I hope everyone will be nice to them when they fly.

  • http://none pyrope

    playswithknives said:
    i don’t have a dog in this fight just yet, because i don’t have aby reason to fly for the next year. i really hope this is dealt with by then. there’s an article floating around about the ‘israelification’ of us airports. 30 minutes from front door to the gate – and israel has had exactly one breach of security in almost 20 years with none of the foolishness we have to deal with.

    And, they use dogs to detect bombs and bomb making materials. The TSA is using all these electronic gadgets. Guess who’s getting rich off of those? Michael Chertoff is a major stockholder. George Soros WAS a major stockholder until 2 days ago.

  • Nahu Tuk

    playswithknives said:
    i don’t have a dog in this fight just yet, because i don’t have aby reason to fly for the next year. i really hope this is dealt with by then. there’s an article floating around about the ‘israelification’ of us airports. 30 minutes from front door to the gate – and israel has had exactly one breach of security in almost 20 years with none of the foolishness we have to deal with.

    I flew El Al several years ago and was truly impressed by their efficiency…and courtesy. Still, as one poster above mentioned, we should not blame the TSA people we meet at the airports–they’re just doing what their idiot boss tells them to do.

© 2012 Mediaite, LLC | About Us | Advertise | Newsletter | Jobs | Privacy | User Agreement | Disclaimer | Power Grid FAQ | Contact | Archives | RSS RSS
Dan Abrams, Founder | Power Grid by Sound Strategies | Hosting by Datagram