The Best and Worst Tweets of the Decade

Charlie NashDec 24th, 2019, 11:04 am
 

Social media. The online battleground where you can see both the best and the worst of humanity one limited-character post at a time.

Over the past decade, we’ve seen everything from the grotesque and the hilarious to the downright absurd as politicians, musicians, journalists, entertainers, and huge corporations have all fought for our ever-distracted attention on the timeline.

As 2019 comes to an end, we wanted to put together a handy list of what we consider to be the best and worst tweets of the decade.

BEST: Ted Cruz and the Butter Cow

Few Twitter posts have ever been more bizarre than Sen. Ted Cruz’s (R-TX) ode to the butter cow.

“Wow, a cow made of butter. My girls would love it,” declared Cruz, pictured in front of a cow made of butter. “In fact, the first sentence Caroline ever said was ‘I like butter.'”

If Twitter wasn’t made for moments like these, what was it made for?

WORST: US Airways

It’s tough to predict how exactly you’d react if a corporate entity responded to your customer service complaint with a photo of a model airplane in a woman’s vagina.

But that’s exactly what US Airways did to one unlucky Twitter user in 2014.

After social media user Alex complained US Airways had “ruined” her Spring Break, the airline responded with the graphic image and the caption, “We don’t like to hear this, Alex. Please provide feedback to our Customer Relations team here.”

The airline said the tweet was a technical screw up. Whoops.

BEST: I’ll Still Keep Drinking That Garbage

Years before President Donald Trump became President of the United States, he used Twitter to keep his followers informed about an array of silly things, including his relationship with the Coca Cola company.

“The Coca Cola company is not happy with me–that’s okay, I’ll still keep drinking that garbage,” he posted in 2012.

Wise words that we all remember to this day.

WORST: Horny Beto Tweet

In November 2018, political analyst Leah McElrath went viral for her post envisioning the sexual performances of political figures:

The jaw-dropping tweet went down in history as… well, one of the most jaw-dropping tweets in history.

BEST: Ed Balls

“Ed Balls.”

With just two words, British politician Ed Balls created one of the most popular Twitter posts of all time.

With over 100,000 retweets and nearly 80,000 likes, Balls also became a trendsetter who inspired thousands of copycat tweets years later.

WORST: I Am Pro Life and Take No Pleasure in Reporting This

If you had to point at the moment in time when former British MP-turned-American media commentator Louise Mensch’s reputation went off the deep end, it would be this 2017 tweet.

Becoming increasingly unhinged on social media, Mensch hammered what could have been the final nail in her coffin when she announced that former White House Chief Strategist Steve Bannon was “being considered” for “the death penalty.”

“I am pro-life and take no pleasure in reporting this,” she added, in a line that has become somewhat iconic on the platform.

Years later, after social media users mockingly asked her whether Bannon had been executed yet, Mensch stuck to her remarks, replying, “I’d continue to check it if I were you.”

BEST: Enter the Fourth Dimension With Kanye West

So many of rapper Kanye West’s tweets are batshit crazy that it’s hard to pick just one.

Here’s a selection of some of his highlights over the past decade.

WORST: I Didn’t Put My Dick Anywhere Near My Cat

After being accused of animal cruelty and bestiality for claiming on a podcast that he did unspeakable things with his pet cat, YouTube star Shane Dawson was forced to make a series of tweets clarifying the truth.

“i didnt fuck my cat. i didnt cum on my cat. i didnt put my dick anywhere near my cat. Ive never done anything weird with my cats,” Dawson proclaimed. “I promised myself i wasnt going to make apology videos after last years thing so im just trying to be as short and honest with this as possible.”

Uh, yeah.

WORST: Game Theory

Twitter user Eric Garland definitely takes top place for the most nonsensical Twitter thread of the decade, with a gobsmacking series of tweets of 120 posts on Trump and Russia that went viral.

“I’m now hearing this meme that says Obama, Clinton, et al. are doing nothing, just gave up. Guys. It’s time for some game theory,” opened Garland in December 2016, and a can of brain worms was opened.

Some say it takes an IQ of over a thousand to understand Garland’s hard-hitting analysis as detailed in his thread.

BEST: Trump, Twilight, and Robert Pattinson

Long before Donald Trump was President Donald Trump, in 2012, he was dropping incredible pleas to Twilight star Robert Pattinson over his relationship with co-star Kristen Stewart.

Overall, the president has tweeted about Pattinson a staggering six times — four of which concerned about his troubled relationship.

“Robert Pattinson should not take back Kristen Stewart. She cheated on him like a dog & will do it again–just watch. He can do much better!” posted Trump in October 2012, starting the commentary which spanned several weeks.

Days later, he added, “Everyone knows I am right that Robert Pattinson should dump Kristen Stewart. In a couple of years, he will thank me. Be smart, Robert.”.

In November, Trump published a celebratory, “Robert Pattinson is putting on a good face for the release of Twilight. He took my advice on Kristen Stewart…I hope!” followed by, “After Friday’s Twilight release, I hope Robert Pattinson will not be seen in public with Kristen–she will cheat on him again!” just days later.

Commentary that will go down in pop culture history.

WORST: Geraldo Rivera’s Topless Selfies

76-year-old Fox News contributor Geraldo Rivera posted several topless selfies to Twitter this decade, taking risque snaps to the nth degree.

As much as we love Rivera here at Mediaite — and his explanation for the topless selfie was a satisfying one — this author can’t help but wonder whether these photographs were better off in his private collection.

BEST: Crab Rangoon

Writer David Roth, formerly of Deadspin, had one of the most revered Twitter jokes of the decade regarding one Stephen A. Smith, published in June 2012:

WORST: Justine Sacco’s Flight From Hell

In 2013, Justine Sacco, a private citizen with 170 followers, made a Twitter post before boarding a flight to Cape Town:

“Going to Africa. Hope I don’t get AIDS. Just kidding. I’m white!”

When Sacco landed after the 11 hour flight, she was the subject of viral hatred, her phone blown up with messages.

Her post had led her to become the number one trending topic on Twitter, and not for a good reason.

Sacco lost her job, and her name became synonymous with making a dumb mistake online and having your life ruined because of it.

Even The Men Who Stare at Goats author Jon Ronson wrote a lengthy profile on Sacco and the infamous tweet.

Justine Sacco probably committed the most famous Twitter fuck up of all time.

SOCIAL MEDIA HONORABLE MENTIONS:

Al Sharpton’s Lynchian Instagram selfies, Ted Cruz ‘liking’ a porn tweet on 9/11, Trump counsel Kellyanne Conway and her husband George Conway’s bitter Twitter war, brands being horny, and many many many many many many fake quotes.

This is an opinion piece. The views expressed in this article are those of just the author.

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