It’s what Gingrich wants to do here on mother earth that’s truly scary.

Brilliant material! Well written and performed!

A Lunar Commute For New

tA philandering politician named Newt
Who’s really just a talking empty suit
Wants a getaway upon the moon
So he and Calista can spoon
After Stepford Wife finishes playing his skin flute!

Newt tells the lie we’ve walked up there before
Back when computers took up a building floor
But radiation will melt
You in the Van Allen Belt
But that don’t matter to a lying political whore!
_____________________
Charles Ulysses Feney

Final joke & Ron Paul graphic were at least chuckle worthy. 

I think I’ve read some of you work in city bar room bathrooms.
Please don’t take offense. I mean it as a compliment! 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Once again allow me to summarize every episode of the Daily Show ever.

APPLY SHEEP VOICE TO THE FOLLOWING:

Democrat Goooooood   Republican Baaaaaaaad

Applying the sheep voice should be easy for all the Sheeple fans of the Daily Show.

But you forget…………………………..You guys make it SO EASY!!!!!!!!

Yep. Stewart has been able to lay off half his creative staff, because the jokes just write themselves.

Another instance of Republican job-killing policies.

You are hilarious.  You don’t mean to be, but you are. 

I’m trying to figure out what drives people with minimum integrity and who’re not mentally deranged to vote for Newt Gingrich. Unfathomable…

great final line but…the moon isn’t a planet ;)

NASA had a plan to build a Moon base but Obama killed the project.

Obama budget to cut Moon base programme

US President Barack Obama is set to announce his budget with more than
100 government programmes expected to be cut or reined in, including an
ambitious plan to establish an American base on the Moon.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/8490647.stm

So once again Jon Stewart deliberately keeps his audience of trained seals uninformed in his zeal to attack Republicans.

Please keep posting here. You’re so funny. Daily Show vs Jersey Shore…good one. But in the real world Daily Show viewers are much more intelligent than people of your ilk.

I’ve never watched this John Stewart guy, only what I see on websites from time to time. I am really surprised people take what he says seriously. Well written and performed??? I’m an outsiderer. Is it me, or is this guy kind of wierd and creepy. Seriously, is this what passes for funny these days? When you get to be an adult, the need to be entertained should disappear. Why are people entertaining news?
Why don’t those of you who are “fans”of this guy grow up?

Apparently you don’t watch or get the jokes on the show that your avatar came from.

Lots of channels out there. You don’t have to watch Comedy Central. 

Instead, you can watch, oh, the fuppets gambol about on FNC, or Blitz Wolfer’s continuing explorations In Search of the Stupidest Questions Ever Asked, or marriage & sex advice on the gun lovers channel. 

Or, you can get back to planning your 2012 lawn care program, & whether this is the year you build up your fence to keep the dirty hippies off.

Ok, let me see the facts…

The economy is so bad because of large government spending.  Therefor we must slash spending to entitlement programs, defund medicare and social security,  fire unionized federal employees (or break their union) and hire children, and make our tax rate the lowest in the world.  The rational behind this is that government cannot do anything right, overpays itself, and is buried under tons of bureaucracy.  We cannot go spending beyond our means and expect a better world.

Therefor I want to build a base on the moon.

Logic.

Lighten up bro.

Hey you leave Roger out of this!!!!!!!

Roger is an alien of the highest character and integrity. 

Mr. Clueless left out this excerpt, taken from the bottom line of the news item he linked us to:

“The president hopes to bring down the US deficit which is the highest it has been since WWII.”

Ah, now see – those words “budget” & deficit”, those aren’t exactly Democratic words or Republican words these days, those are bipartisany Americansky words, yes no? 

(Anyway, I never liked the Moon Unit program (or “programme” in Beeb speak), because there’s nothing up there to build on – critically, no gravity, due to insufficient mass & core to provide for the atmosphere we humanoids are equipped to breathe & live in. We blew our lead on cutting edge science when Newt Alinsky led Congress to cancel the Texas Supercollider, & over the following two decades we’ve turned from being America into being Columbia … or worse, because, sadly:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jT6JkceQ9FU&feature=results_video&playnext=1&list=PL642C0BD0C42539DD

“The need to be entertained should disappear,”

 Man I want to party with you.

I do, however, wish to thank Mr. Clueless for actually linking. It’s critical to the Mediaite comment process, either to proving to the rest of us what’s being said is based on actual, you know, facts, or pointing out it’s based on air or some bogus meme, or in identifying qualifiers. Congratulations, Mr. Clueless, for living up to the proper standard. 

Wow. Take a pill, Mr. Serious.

This Jon Stewart guy???

He has been on the national radar since 1993.  He had two talk shows in that time, was rumored to take the 12:30 slot on CBS when Letterman was hired, has appeared in a few major motion pictures, has been on the Daily Show for over 12 years now, hosted the Oscars, he tours nationally (at large theaters) doing stand up, and had this huge rally in Washington DC last year.  You make it sound like he just appeared out of no where.

I understand your point, but making it this way shows you to be very ill informed at best or completely sheltered at worse.  It would be the same as me saying “this Glen Beck guy” or “This Rush Limbaugh person.” I don’t agree with their politics, but I am not ignorant to their existence.

His basement like a scene from the “Deer Hunter”.

Ummm, Comedy Channel?

What you are saying is you had no clue of the incident until the above poster brought it to your attention, right, mrs. philby?

A much wiser plan would be the uplift of the dolphins and apes to full sentience. Once a system of communication between our clans is perfected, exploration of the solar system might commence with proper representation.

Any channel showing the Republican debates is the comedy channel.

That doesn’t sound very fiscally conservative.  In reality Republicans aren’t fiscally conservative at all, they talk about it but just look at their many pet projects, they like to borrow and spend like nobody’s business.  

It’s like family values they like saying it, because it’s a catchy two-word sound bite but they will cheat on their wives and won’t think twice about doing it.   

So Republicans are against programs designed to rejuvenate the economy and provide people with health care coverage, but colonizing the moon is a great idea?  You’re the party of austerity and you’re advocating that we colonize the moon with a permanent base.  WOW!

That’s because colonizing the moon has never been an issue until today, dumbsy.

…

It’s you.

What an incredibly hideous couple of  human beings Jon Stewart and his fellow horror movie evil clown Stephen Colbert are.

Raising an entire generation of asinine American kids who  believe that lethargy, defeatism, and navel-gazing are the highest forms of intellectuality and virtue.

I hope New York gets hit by a 14th century plague that gives these two intellectual Josef Fritzls hemorrhoids the size of a subway train.

Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert are hideous because you don’t get jokes most Americans do? It’s sad that someone — who apparently lives with such a pessimistic outlook — can’t see this irony in their own posts. If you did, it might be enough to finally allow you to have a real laugh. Josef Frtizls? That’s the kind of stuff to make jokes of. Wishing for New York to get a 14th Century plague makes me wonder where your “intellectuality and virtue” are at.

Best comedy segment…with epic solar proportions and grandiousche in smell with little bit of thrill.Worth of Cain plan for 999 EMMY awards for Jon…not like looser above or below me who have to wait for 999 inagurations…

A moon base?

The whole world is screaming about austerity and recession and Mr Gingrich answer is to colonise the moon as American…

…Give the Republican Nomination to this guy already!

Awwwwwwwwwww U MAD ROB?

Good.

The economy is so bad because of large government spending.

Uh, no.

Wow, Republicans really get worked up over comedy huh? No wonder they’re always booing during their debates.

What are you a Klingon? You mad because the Daily Show made fun of Newt’s views on colonizing the moon? Go attend some convention, geek.

“No seriously fans of the Daily Show make the cast of the Jersey Shore look like nuclear physicist”

You know what the sad part is?
The Daily Show fans and the Jersey Shore fans are one in the same.

Dude is a Klingon, “what is this ‘fun’ you speak of?”. Probably mad because Newt would be the only candidate to grant his kind a path to citizenship.

Conservatives would DO
ANYTHING to escape the MORAL RESPONSIBILITY of taking medical care of
it’s own citizens and elderly…even so far as throwing all those
Billions away on MOON BASES….what a bunch of LOSERS.

Yes because clearly they acheived their goals without an ounce of hard work and persevernce.

I am not saying I agree with these talking points or that they are even based in reality.  However, what I said is supported by the right.

So you are for a moon base right?

I know. It’s the comics fault that the GOP candidates make his job so dam easy.

When Jon goes after Dems it’s because he’s trying to provide cover. When Fox goes after Pubbies, it’s because they really are Fair and Balanced.

Jon has his own show and calls it as he sees it, just like Hannity, ORielly, Beck etc. The difference is he’s funny, his satire often makes a point, and is generally more honest.

Bingo

You never paid attention to the Planet of the Apes films huh? I bet Newt has and he will not do it.  Like when he said we should bring back orphanages and ban abortions.  His defense was orphanages can’t all be bad because of “The Bells of Saint Mary.”  (I am NOT making this up) At least this way he will have a nice crop of workers for his inner city sanitation plan.  You know he is a historian right?  Did he learn about Nazi Prison Camps by watching Hogan’s Heroes, the plight of the inner city by watching “Good Times,” and his beliefs in evolution by watching “The Flintstones?” Though it is surprising he wants to do a moon base, he must have not seen 2001 or Apollo 18 yet.

The Dolphins could supervise the human orphans in grand aquatic orphanages design to transfer heat from the ever warming oceans. The apes could act as guards in urban prison camps built to re-educate the citizens using a President Newt inspired television curriculum. You really should think more like Newt.

Jon, the moon is not a planet.

There is NO moral responsibility for the govt to provide anything for its citizens except safety and the rule of law. Try taking some personal responsibility for a change.

BTW, it’s Obama who is cutting Medicare by $500 billion. You are very ignorant.

“Newt got beaned by the apple good, yeah yeah yeah yea…”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1hKSYgOGtos

Newt — supposedly an historian — should know better:  according to the Northwest Ordinance of 1787 (the basis for the U.S. Constitution), a territory must have a population of at least 60K before it can apply for statehood!

Oh, it will have a population well over 60k.  He will probably send all the poor people there.

But you could make the case that Newt is.

What if the citizens are on the moon?  Don’t we have some responsibility to them then?  I can’t imagine it being very profitable to ship anything to the moon so guess who will have the burden of providing for such a population.

We take it seriously because it’s serious business. Don’t let the idea of a joke about serious matters make you think that serious matter is simply a joke. it’s clearly not a joke, it’s absurdity and hilarious. An outsiderER ? I mean, how can you criticize intelligent adults for seeking informative newscasting with a twist and can’t even grasp a simple concept like E and R. It’s you. Yes. Are you s**tting me with this “Adults don’t need entertainment” crap? Do you watch movies, listen to music, surf the internet? Hell, reading this article is considered entertainment, you jackoff. Why don’t you get your head out of your rectum and stop worrying about how we get our news. Go turn on CNN or MSNBC or Fox and tell yourself it will all be okay. Also, while you’re at it… Do us all a favor and shoot yourself in the head.

Bush’s followers are proud of the Iraqi Constitution, a model for the world, they told us

Article 31 reads:

“First: Every citizen has the right to health care. The
State shall maintain public health and provide the means of prevention
and treatment by building different types of hospitals and health
institutions.

Second: Individuals and entities have the right to
build hospitals, clinics,or private health care centers under the
supervision of the State, and this shall be regulated by law.”

There are other health care guarantees, including special provisions for children, the elderly, and the handicapped

I hope New York gets hit by a 14th century plague that gives these two
intellectual Josef Fritzls hemorrhoids the size of a subway train.

How republican of you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E0PIdWdw15U

Only Republican attack the President for fiscal responsibility.

When you get to be an adult, the need to be entertained should disappear.

And move to the republican party?

to clean toilets…..

We the people of the united states in order to form a more perfect union establish justice, insure domestic tranquility, PROVIDE FOR THE COMMON DEFENSE AND THE GENERAL WELFARE and secure the blessings of liberty to ourselves and our posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.
 So while YOU may not find a moral obligation….you might want to review what the  founding fathers intended.

And the 500 Billion lie is soooooo last year.
http://www.politifact.com/truth-o-meter/statements/2011/dec/12/mitt-romney/romney-says-only-obama-has-cut-medicare/ 

Who’s ignorant?

You MUST be a christian!

Because Obama knew it was a joke.  Obama didn’t introduce the legislation for the moonbase, who did that?
Look this up 
National Aeronautics and Space Policy Act of 1981 …..have fun and don’t forget your Oxygen.

This line is getting old.  It is not original or remotely funny.  Go back to the basement and think of something else.

Its you.  there is nothing weird or creepy about Jon Stewart.  Maybe you were watching Pans Labyrinth and got confused?

It’s all been said before.  Brilliance in comedy.

http://www.amazon.com/Mining-Sky-Untold-Asteroids-Planets/dp/0201328194

Yay moon Base!!!  We could finally have an easier way to explore space and harvest resources from it.

I really didn’t think that you leftists were so dumb that my straightforward comment needed to be explained, but here goes:

Jon Stewart spent an entire segment bashing Newt for wanting to build a Moon base, as if it was some kind of crazy idea, when in fact, until very recently it was a very major part of NASA’s mission. The Space Shuttle program was cancelled so we could afford the Constellation rocket/moon base program.

Now had Stewart informed his audience of trained seals that building a Moon base was an integral NASA mission prior to Obama cancelling it, his baseless attack on Gingrich would have fallen flat.

Just another example out of many of the lengths of deceit Stewart will go to in order to bash Republicans

You must be a really big Jon Stewart fan because you are totally ignorant and proud of it:

Obama Envisions Manned Mars Mission for NASA – CBS News

As part of a sweeping post-shuttle change of direction for NASA, the
Obama administration’s shift to private-sector rockets and spacecraft
will include government development of a new heavy-lift rocket for
eventual manned flights to a variety of deep space targets including,
ultimately, Mars, an administration official said Tuesday.

While
committed to terminating the Bush administration’s Constellation moon
program, the president supports development of a scaled-down version of
Constellation’s Orion crew capsule for use as a space station emergency
escape vehicle and possible technology test bed.

And you must be a hack because nothing you’re posting has much to do with what this article is about or what I just posted. Either that or you don’t read. But go ahead & get stressed out at a comedy skit. Stuff like this is why I always have good laughs at the expense of you necrocons.

and drill,baby,drill……I’m sure the transportation costs won’t be a problem,especially in this great economy.

Awwwwwww, is clueless mad that Jon made fun of your Newty? Suck it up Sally, it’s comedy. Also, when a presidential candidate is complaining about debt & advocating a moon colony, it shows he has no concept of reality. Maybe if you zombies would watch something other than Fox all the time, you wouldn’t feel so victimized for your right wing views.

Sending people to the moon is crazy, unless a Democrat proposes it.

let’s let china and russia dominate us in space while we continue to invest in money pits like solyndra, ener1 and the chevy volt…

the short-sighted argument against wasting so much money on space when
children are starving and people are homeless is nothing more than meritless emotional drivel…  nasa’s budget over the last decade has been less than 1% of the federal
budget, and frankly isn’t a
bad bang for the buck compared to other programs, even when you include the boneheaded decisions of administrator o’keefe…  we need to double
that budget and colonize the moon before someone else does, likely
someone not too friendly toward us…

conversely, if we cut, not slash, entitlement budgets, we could double nasa’s budget…  social programs alone are more than half the federal budget, so we could eliminate nasa altogether and putting that money toward entitlements wouldn’t make a damn bit of difference…

Yes, let’s invest in space. Seems worthwhile. Are you from the 60s & 70s? No one cares about space anymore.

columbus, magellan and lewis & clark should have stayed home too, right?…

Spark one up Dude!
Also move out of the cave.

Republicans are Humdrum and obtuse. He fits right in

Gee, I thought with the above banter you would something obout the force or dark side or something like that.

The point is you cannot have it both ways.  You cannot be for  shrinking the size of government by cutting “wasteful” programs like unemployment, only to build a base on the moon for no other reason than to show off.  As for the other countries, Russia does keep work on the international space station and China would like to launch a few into space, but that is more for satellites and communication (and spying, why we do it too) then exploration.  Plus this is a global economy.  If there is ever a moon base, it will be made privately with the help of many many countries.

got a link?

the short-sighted argument against wasting so much money on space when
children are starving and people are homeless is nothing more than
meritless emotional drivel…  nasa’s budget over the last decade has
been less than 1% of the federal budget, and frankly isn’t a bad bang
for the buck compared to other programs, even when you include the
boneheaded decisions of administrator o’keefe…  we need to double that
budget and colonize the moon before someone else does, likely someone
not too friendly toward us…

conversely, if we merely cut, not
slash, entitlement budgets by even 1%, we could easily double nasa’s
budget…  social programs alone are more than half the federal budget,
so eliminating nasa altogether and putting that money toward
entitlements wouldn’t make a damn bit of difference… 

why cut entitlements?  Why not use the military?  After all, most of NASA is former Air Force.

Now I know you and I know you are smart enough to know how to copy & paste words into a Google search, so why are you asking for a link?

Are you disputing that Obama canceled the Constellation program? Or are you disputing that Obama has on many occasions promoted the idea of going to Mars?

Boy are you a dense one. You’re bashing the cancelled moon base plan over the program’s cost, yet Obama is instead directing NASA to plan for a manned mission to Mars which would cost 100 times more than a Moon base.

I am disputing the fact that you are either unwilling or unable to back up your argument with facts. And your response proved me right.

i think the navy has produced more astronauts, and we should use the military…  as offensive as this is to pacifists i believe we should totally militarize space…

Oh how inspirationificational, GENIOUSOFSOCIALISMDAN.

Maibeez with enough deducation to marx, oen dayz I can be a finger pointy self hating Jew too! 

Isn’t it funny how Obama was supposed to represent “hope” but in Obama’s America, apparently, the most risible thing anyone can do is to express ambitions for America that go beyond the front lawn… 

You hideous, disgusting, Marx-worshipping cockroach with pig sh1t for brains.

You got that right… total cost of NASA since its inception in the early 1960s through 2011 is less than the AIG bailout cost.

Maibeez with enough deducation to marx, oen dayz I can be a finger
pointy self hating Jew with his own crappy pseudo-intellectual cable TV
cult freak show too!

Maybe. That would be an upgrade from a hateful, juvinile, and insignificant poster on a message board wouldn’t it?

He already thinks he lives there.

who gets a huge erection

This part you got right , it’s huge. To bad about yours. For your own sake, try to channel all that insercurity and anger in a more positive direction.

In case it escaped anyone’s notice….the guy’s name IS “repwin2012″ after all.  Nuff said.

It’s hilarious how those incredibly generic and cliched barbs only come out later on in the exchange.

You know, when it becomes apparent you’re toweringly outwitted.

If you really felt that way you wouldn’t post here at all or even read my messages.

Wow Rob,you’re really taking this to heart. Probably because you have no brain?

I checked Google and all I could find was references to both Bush Presidents and manned expeditions to Mars.

LOL I don’t know if Rob lives on the moon, but it’s obvious his brain isn’t getting enough oxygen.

I’m bashing it for costing too much? LOL THAT’S YOUR PARTY’s platform sloppy. Did you even watch the debate? Your fellow Republicons were the ones bashing him for it costing too much. But by all means,, keep crying about a comedy skit. Makes you appear completely rational. LOL

How come you weren’t smart enough to copy & paste the link?

So first Republicons cried about wasting money, and now they want to update NASA so that it could carry out Star Trek missions. LOL CLOWN.

The great idea man thought of another doozie. Establish a colony on the moon so people can exist on moon rocks and craters. What an idiot. Romney would have fired him and Ron Paul would send him to the moon.

Yeah, it is you.  

You know, AFTER your penny finally drops and you realise that you’re toweringly outwitted.

  I’m sure your petty ego desperately needs to believe that. Knock yourself out.

Relatively speaking this board and every post on it is insignificant. Posters come here for different reasons. Light entertainment, current events, and the occasional exchange of ideas and information. Then there’s the ones, like yourself, who contribute nothing but simply like to bash others in as nasty and hateful a manner as possible.
Do you think you’re original in that? Hardly.
Personally I think people who find entertainment in being consistently hateful to strangers should seek some help, but that’s a non professional opinion. It would be great if you demonstrated you were capable of anything else. I know I’d feel better, and I think deep down,….you would too.

Reliance on insult is not a sign of intelligence.  You sound like a silly and insincere thinker.  Do better.

Great, populate the Moon with republicans, they are lunatics anyway…

The moon would be an EXCELLENT place for this batch of “conservatives” (Gingrich, Bachmann, Perry, the Tea Parties, O’Donnell, et al) to set up shop and start a nation.  Amazing how these “conservatives” want smaller government, etc unless money is used to support their ideals, wacky ideas, religious “morals”, etc on more normal (centered) people.  And then they say the media is “liberal” because it makes fun of them.  Too bad Mitch Daniels isn’t running – though the Republican nutcases probably wouldn’t nominate a sane/stable candidate.  But now they’re stuck with Romney, a Republican, lighter skinned Obama….

your very first sentence says it all. Unlike you I want to be entertained till i die. Time is short dont be so serious all the time enjoy life while you can. 

blow hard, you can have it both ways…  i submit to you that space exploration will ultimately yield a far greater roi than pissing away money on poverty pimping…  you can DOUBLE nasa’s budget by a mere 1% cut in entitlements…  but we don’t have to cut either, i’m merely illustrating the futility of thinking nasa’s budget as having any effect at all on social programs…  and if you can’t imagine a purpose for colonizing the moon other than to simply show off then perhaps you’ll be content living underneath a chinese or russian death star…

as for eyeofnewt, your star trek crack indicates that it’s you who is the short-sighted clown who would have told columbus he’ll sail off the edge of the planet…  but hey, at least you care about people…

As long as “diversity is our strength” our days of exploring the final frontier are pretty much over. 

Jon Stewart the moon is not a planet.

I have to admit that I found it funny, but perhaps you are suggesting that the Republican candidates are entertaining enough? I mean maybe the Gingrich Moonship Colony path to statehood is a valid idea to consider as a way to solve the economic and political problems of our times?  Or that the Romney flip-flop (a Republican phrase) on health care is based on enlightened ideas and not blatant GOP ass kissing?  But you know what would be really funny?  If the GOP actually had one valid idea to move the country forward rather than pretending to be the font of knowledge of (pick one: Jesus, the Founding Fathers, Ronald Reagan) would do.  

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You may want to research the constitution.

The “general welfare” doesn’t mean welfare.

Thomas Jefferson explained the latter general welfare clause
for the United States: “[T]he laying of taxes is the power, and the general
welfare the purpose for which the power is to be exercised. They [Congress] are
not to lay taxes ad libitum for any purpose they please; but only to pay the
debts or provide for the welfare of the Union. In like manner, they are not to
do anything they please to provide for the general welfare, but only to lay
taxes for that purpose.”
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/General_Welfare_clause